weighing heavy on the mind
years trickle down
between each crease
plain made plainer
by hard labor
forced too soon
crying out
silently
for all that could have been
but there is no time for reflection
weathered hands
defeated eyes
led to this hardened heart
fate is met with resolve
Author notes
what might she have been if she were born today
Written May 31st, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- The Face of Life (CONTEST) by zdmckay.
300 points, ended June 2, 2004, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I always have a hard time writing poetry to pictures, not sure if I would capture the essence of the person's life, but you on the other hand seem to be an old pro at this, looking at a pic and coming up with a character sketch of what might have been, as always, capturing the moment in ink...very nice write. gregg
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I like this. You left so much between the lines. This is a very nice poem - I can understand why zee had such a tough time judging this contest.
Scott
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As usual you have created maximum impact with minimal words. Thanks so much for entering my contest. I loved this poem. But then, don't I always love your poems.
zee
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I agree - I think you've very accurately conveyed this woman's feelings. It reminds me of the early 1900s - and she is forced to work hard on a farm to make a living for her family. Excellent job and good luck!
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This poem speaks to the weariness of the face she holds. Sad, hungry for relief and somewhat desperate... although strong. Excellent wording. good luck with the contest! Very well written capturing the essence of this woman.
Much Love,
Rnee
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you did an amazing job giving the women in the picture life. your words reflect the look in her eyes. fantastic imagery, and wonderful flow. this is just a great piece. good luck in the contest! <33
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I think you did a great job at portraying the woman in the picture. Awesome imagery! Good luck!
Susan
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interesting...i find that woman to be rather scary myself, as if she is hiding a deep dark secret...weird...great job though, thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest
take care
-Stac- -
great depiction of the picture! you really captured what her eyes seemed to say. i love the lines "crying out
silently
for all that could have been"
excellent! keep it up
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damn that was good.. i liked the like of detail because it gave a sort of unsteadiness. which i adored. it was wonderful really, a soft toned poem touched by simple words. thanks for sharing
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A fair harnessing of the goods here, poet.. nice and simple descriptions.
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You sure did a great job of showing how she feels and what she seems like she has gone through! It's almost as if you jumped into the picture and just asked her! It's pretty amazing if ya ask me, Great job! I wish you the best luck in the contest!
Get'em whisper! lol...
-Little Tim *hugs* -
whisper you write amazingly good poems, you can describe anything and it is awesome, i love all your works, they are wonderful
, best of luck to you in the contest
-Forever Mad Clown Love-
~EmmA~ -
Great
This piece is fantastic. I believe you captured the woman's very thoughts in this piece! Each line filled with such description, such expression! It's truly a wonderful piece. Thank you so much for sharing!
~Somber -
This beautifully written.Saddie23
Edited on May 31, 5:09 p.m. because ''. -
for all that could have been...such a poignant phrase. I think you captured the woman in the photograph pretty well. I get that same sense that you have so elegantly expressed.
a good poem. good luck in the contest.
~travis
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in the prairie dust lie the remants of many a prairie women who struggled and fought all the odds only to become the dust from which she tried to scratch out a living from, sweep from the rough wooden floors of her cabin, cook from the labor of her tilling the fresh vegatables that stubbornly yoelded barely enough to wipe the hunger form her childrens faces, this hardened face that saw so much, and found little in the way of dreams being fulfilled, now sleeps in a crumbling pine box, her dust mingling with the land she tried so hard to tame...great poem....Artis
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