I’m stuck in a funk
and can’t seem to fight
Climbing uphill,
lost in the night
I’m crawling on glass
And the slivers work deep
I can’t seem to cry
For the wounds as they weep
I’m stuck in a vortex
My soul an abyss
I’m losing all sight
Forgetting all bliss
I’m wrapped in your anger
Immersed in your pain
I’ve nothing to offer
And it drives me insane
I can’t seem to struggle
I can’t even pray
Life is too hard
I wish it away
Where are you God?
This is my only song
I lie here weak
When you need me strong
How dare God hurt you!
My love and my life
I watch and feel helpless
Worthless as a wife
Your pain is a curse
I take the blame
Yours the anguish to bare
To punish my shame
The shards borrow deeper
As my comfort you spurn
Send “me “ to hell - God
Already I burn…
I could weather great sorrows
Or the pull of the rack
But I can’t bare the thought
Of the stabs in your back
It seems like eons
Since the agony started
The pain I can’t quite
It’s never departed
I wish I had magic
Or comfort to share
I hear you pray
But God is not there
I’m sorry, my love
If I gave up too fast
But the future seems black
And I’ve buried the past
Maybe without me
God will relent
His ire will lessen
And relief will be sent
I was never worth it
The love that you gave
My soul was long shriveled
And not there to save
So fly to the sun, Joe
Love God -- and Love life
But forget me, tomorrow
I sucked as your wife.
Patricia Gibson-Williams
Author notes
I can't think of a title so if you can let me know. I know this isn't the kind of poem a newly wed (1 week and 2 days) should be writing, but Joe has been in so much pain (back) and I feel so helpless. I hope that when he sees the Doctor thrusday, he can offer us some hope. In the meantime I'm going to have a contest asking for help. I just have to figure out what kind of poem will make me feel better.
Patti
Written May 31st, 2004
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I read the whole poem and it was something that you seek,and find a way that you want to get out.It's a sad thing that i've been through this thing in my past i feel this way asking God where he is? and everytime i ask this..i feel ashame because God never ask me..a question like where's my faith? Or if i believe? i tried alot of things to avoid God by not praying and not asking anything because of my pride, my angriness, yet it helps me crave to need him by finding the heal to my own..and i found out that "everything that is bad happening to us, is not GOd who like it..But iT was "US"..I remember the moment i doubt prayers but other's help me find the heal to my wounds and it was a nice feelings that GOD touch my heart the way i learn to fight Satan distruction to my spirit, to my mind and to my heart..
As we are drown by our problems in life
we must not curse others or cursing God for what had happen because our life is a gift that GOD never wanted to be ruined.
I wish that you come to realize that YOU are not alone in your fight..because you have friends, you have your family, and mostly GOd was there..HIs the one who help you even you don't approciate HIM.GOd just waiting for you..TO see Him without angriness,without asking..people like us, tend to ask GOD always but did we ever not ask ourselves if we did something FOr GOD?? just my thoughts..hope you will find your way out and rise everytime you fall..Dont be loser to your fight just do your best..I pray for you..ALL human have burdens and heavy load same us my family had been.
I think the best title for this piece is.."The seeker"just my opinion.
GOd bless YOU.
always,
Luv -
Well Expressed!
Hmmm, a title, maybe "Fallen Angel" or "Unworthy" just some thoughts... And the poem flowed very well by the way, and I'm really sorry you are enduring such heartache, I guess the key word is Enduring, you will rise again, and be whole, this is my wish for you, and I hope you keep on penning, I know it really helps me release alot of emotions, good, bad, happy, sad...you name it, I've penned it, lol... So you try and take care of yourself, you hear!?! OK then, pen on my new friend!
Much love always!
-Timothy
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i dont know what kind of came to me when you wrote this is the term blind faith... people always say it comes out good in the end, and this poem completely shatters that belief.... i dont know if that could spark an idea for a title... all i could think of was "blind failures". Good luck finding a title for this poem which i absolutely loved.
~laurie~ -
At first I was to say it seemed dis-jointed, but not in such a bad way, for the first set of stanza's each one seems to be a new thought, situation... though as you get further into this piece everything seems to tie up.
The length of each stanza really shows an un-even thought pattern but the fluidity in rhyme and pace calms this and I feel it works well. This was rather long then for my normal reading though I must say I did enjoy this. You use some nice phrases such as 'stuck in a vortex' and 'seemed like eons'. Nicely done.
I hope things work out well for you and your husband. But as for a title I'm afraid I am of no help, my instant reaction would be ‘Second thoughts – deliberations of a newlywed’. -
How about, "fragile splinters under fingernails"? I loved the poem itself, and the physically upsetting image ought maybe sum the poem up. I'm sorry to hear about your husband.
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wonderful
I found that poem to be very pleasant to read. It had a very nice flow and a good variety and selection of words. However, I always feel that poems are like stories and should have punctuation. It aids in the general presentation and movement of the poem. It's up to you though. As for a title... that is tough. I think it's best for you to pick a title, because this is your emotion entrapped in words. Pick the stanza that means the most to you, and pick out your favorite line from the stanza. Maybe that can help you develope a title. Anyways, I am rambling. Very nice poem, keep it up!
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This is such a powerful and emotional work of writing. You can see the honesty and genuine longing to make everything better. I think your passion is what makes you a good wife. Stand by him, love him, support him and never leave his side. That's what a good wife is. A suggestion for the title - "Can't Heal You" That's just off the top of my head, so I'll let you know if I think of anything better. Good luck.
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