The black spot in the hallway
had been chewing gum once, trampled
and so were we, school,
broken by nothing more complex
than exposure to one another.
If emotions leave ghosts
school, you are haunted
the beige of the institution
hides more than you know.
What can you do in 40 minutes
of grief? The onus of having
nowhere else to go, tell them
about Shakespeare? Are you mad?
A man did that, for thirty years
unsung, in brick Bronx asylums
barred windows why would anyone
do such a thing? For you?
Author notes
Written May 25th, 2004
A contest entry
- teacher, teacher, I declare ...... (Contest for new members in May) by AP Greeters.
300 points, ended June 2, 2004, 25 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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wow that was aweosme.. very expressive, exudes poetic ability although it did only come together to a teacher reference in the end. the last line is masterful... well done!
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Nice write, brought those old school corridoors swimming back in to veiw.
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Hmm... I agree with everyone else, it really did only come together for me in that final few lines. Your description of 'a black spot' gave me an instant flashback to my high school days where I'd spend most Maths lessons in the hallway for being a pain in the ass, and I can still recall that piece of gum that was there like a beacon every lesson for six years.
Very well done, and it definitely has a profound message about the dedication of teachers. Very well done. -
Great description and flow. I always wondered what went on in the school during summer break...this peom brought that old thought to mind
(The third stanza is so descriptive of my grade 11 experience.)
Welcome to Allpoetry and good luck with the contest
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With you? for me that question at the end was like a direct, in-your-face statement and it just completely changed the whole poem. Fabulous descriptions and poem. Good luck in the contest.
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There are some good line breaks here which leave me with clear images in my head. Love the 'beige of the institution'. It does need more than one read to understand fully though.
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Yup yup, almost a poem about not your favourite teachers, but looking at them and wondering why! Very cryptic piece, good luck, dave.
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Thank you for the kind words. All schools have their problems, I never loved mine; it's the dedicated professionals who give their time and energy to students that make the time there worthwhile. I've been enjoying writing here, hope to continue.
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I totally agree with Von, definately worth a couple of reads. But it was all marvelously executed. You aren't sure where at first this is going then you're hit with sweet realisation!
Good luck and thanks for entering
Hayley x x -
It didn't come together for me until the last stanza - and then bang it all fell into place. On the 2nd read I felt it was a warning of sorts leading up the final profound statement.
Great entry and thank you
Welcome to AP
~Von~
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