Riding, riding, riding, riding,
Nightlong riding, daylong hiding,
Garments torn of lowly beggar,
In his folds a long sharp dagger,
Long the ridges, down the valleys,
Through wild forests' shadowed alleys,
Riding, hiding, riding, hiding,
Endless miles the fury striding,
Riding...
Trotting, trotting, trotting trotting,
Endless trotting, ceaseless frothing,
Beats the hoof its silent thunder
Tearing night from night asunder,
Long the rivers, down the mountains,
Cutting paths through dirty fountains,
Trotting, frothing, trotting, frothing,
Frozen sea in eyesight clotting,
Trotting...
Sweating, sweating, sweating, sweating,
Mare a sweating, mind a fretting,
Hind of lashes vicious visions
Ripping heart with deep incisions
Through the senses pouring ire
While his seeing sword and fire,
Sweating, fretting, sweating, fretting,
Dripping blood the saddle wetting,
Sweating...
Night has fallen, fallen, fallen, moonless skies adorn the trek,
Shivers run from hoof to rider as he moves through wreck, through wreck,
Sharp the stench, the stench, the rubble steaming up through clouds of dust,
Bolts the horse, his drying gashes breaking crust, then crust, then crust.
Kneels the rider side of timber, timber, timber, charred to stone,
Trembling hands pick piece of clothing, clothing, clothing, bone, and bone,
Little, little, copper, copper, shoe, and shoe, and ring, and ring,
Eyes unseeing, eyes unseeing, linen dress and beads on string.
Softly, softly, tender, tender, crumbling embers out of way,
Withered flesh from pools of darkness, darkness, darkness, come away,
Blooms the pain in silence, silence, silence screaming ripping chest,
Wife, and son, and daughter, daughter, dog, and dog, to lay to rest.
Mounds of earth, of earth are steaming lined beyond the forest edge,
Horse is snorting, man is howling, howling, howling raging pledge
Red be flowing, red be flowing, steaming rivers reeking death,
As through mind, through mind, through body cuts a breeze of icing breath.
What's this noise like crawling, crawling, crawling logs on rugged ground,
What's this feel of scratching, scratching, scratching nails through whining sound?
Way you go, you cruel vision, vision, vision born in hell,
Life is none, is none, is buried draped in choking clouds of smell.
From his crouching, crouching posture swollen eyes he lifts, he lifts,
Out the depths, the depths of forest one huge shape towards him drifts,
As his hand, his hand the sharpness of the metal, metal grabs
Limping, limping, limping nears him and the muzzle softly jabs.
"Ursus, Ursus, faithful servant, strong of mind and low of scowl,
Lion hearted, lion hearted, sharp of fang and deep of growl,
Was your power, power, power, you and brothers fearsome two
Not enough the deadly, deadly, deadly cowards to subdue?"
Slowly back into the forest, to the forest limps the dog,
Dark the puss his back adorning thickened, thickened stinking fog,
Till a clump of thorny bushes where he falls, he falls, he lies,
Near a pair of dirty, dirty, dirty cheeks and frightened eyes.
Deep the spasm, the spasm of torment running cross the rider's chest,
As his fragile, fragile daughter picks to heart from thorny nest,
Five her winters, five her winters, only seed to live through slay,
Flowing tears for counted moments quell the grief, the grief away.
Dark the forest, dark the forest, cool the shadow, cool the shadow,
Way beyond the edge of forest, hidden meadow, meadow, meadow,
Low the fire, boils the water, gentle, gentle deadly hands
Feed the child, the wounds are scrapping, round the dog roll bands, roll bands.
Seven days, then days more seven, seven nights, then nights, then nights,
Sneaking through forgotten passes, valleys, valleys, heights, and heights,
Reaching that forgotten cottage, cottage, cottage, poor of shape,
Rich in love of man and woman, seven babes, and seven babes.
On the porch he sits his baby, baby, baby sweet of cheek,
In his eye the hopeless morrow, painted grey, and bleak, and bleak,
One far look, far look, he watches as the woman hugs the child,
And his eye stones trace of softness, and his heart roves wild, roves wild.
Back his footsteps, back his footsteps, back his footsteps man, horse, dog,
One long moment, one long moment by the mounds and scattered log,
Spreading seeds of wildest berry, berry, berry top the ground,
Last regard he slowly passes, mound, then mound, then mound, then mound.
Sharp the dagger, long and deadly, deadly, deadly sharp of tang,
Sharp the fang, wild mean and deadly dog and fang, and fang, and fang,
Sharp the nail, short hard and deadly dressing hoof, then hoof, then hoof,
Shivers night's unseeing kingdom, shivers hell's star lighted roof.
Sweating, sweating, sweating, sweating,
Mare a sweating, mind a fretting,
Red the fury, hooves, and gallop,
Heaving chests as break and scallop,
Through the senses pouring ire,
Red be flowing hot like fire,
Sweating, fretting, sweating, fretting,
Endless blood the saddle wetting,
Sweating...
Trotting, trotting, trotting trotting,
Endless trotting, ceaseless frothing,
White the fury, fang, and growling,
Ripping throats affrighted howling,
Long the rivers, down the mountains,
Red be flowing down the fountains,
Trotting, frothing, trotting, frothing,
Endless cold the eyesight clotting,
Trotting...
Riding, riding, riding, riding,
Nightlong riding, daylong hiding,
Black the fury, black the dagger,
Slashing wildly lofty swagger,
Long the ridges, down the valleys,
Red be flowing long the alleys,
Riding, hiding, riding, hiding,
Endless rage the fury striding,
Riding...
Author notes
option 7 (never giving up on... pain )
commented:
laceangel - leaves
shooting star - my goodbye
Written May 22nd, 2004
A contest entry
- Tell me a Fable... by Christina Prince.
300 points, ended June 14, 2006, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can You Write like Service, Kipling or Noyes by ecrivain01.
1900 points, ended December 22, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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well done...lots of great content and lines here...the repetition got a little distracting for my tastes, but it certainly added to the flow and feel of the piece. Well done.
Rory -
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thank you rory
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Great!
Ok I gave it a quick reading over and you're good to go as far as content and length are concerned. I'll give it a much more in depth reading when it comes time for judging. Thank you for entering this into my contest and good luck!
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dear twinzy, it certainly was intended to give shivers of apprehension, i have now confirmation that somehow it did it... many thanks for this and for your... imagination
. hope to keep you in "my camp", lol.
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Outstanding
well joe I want to thank you again for sending me in the direction of this poem..Not only are you a wonderful poet/writer you are so versatile ...this was unlike the others that I read still well written and long which I didnt mind due to the fact that it was well written! There was a lot of repitition here in turn made it more clear for me..The poem made me cold ...I have a ggreat imagination -
thanks, Kira
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this is really good i like the repitition and the rhyme and i also like the story and the imagery in it.. very nicely done! ..great write.. good luck in my contest!
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thank you, jess, your pleasure is mine. y.
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Welcome back hun.. and this is awesome. I didn't get a chance to read it before but wow... i don't know what i can say to justify how completely awesome this poem truly is. I love the repition to me it seems like it enhances the effect of the whole poem. Love the imagery you gave also. Well done hun.
*~CrystalClrBlood~* -
I liked the beginning stanzas but it was a little too long for me.
Maureen
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Wow... I absolutely love the way you write! Everything from the repitition to the rhyme was nearly perfect... And the story is just wonderful... Thank you for pointing this piece out to me; I really enjoyed reading it. (Aloud, I might add. I don't know how much my brother appreciated that, though... ) I'm determined to read some more of your work as soon as I get the time.
Thanks again for...err...everything.
~Bec
Edited on May 22, 5:05 p.m. because 'it turns my smileys into underlines...'.
1 - 12 of 12





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