If I died today would you even care?
You say you're my friend, but what do we share?
A love of music that no one else hears?
A need to break all of the mirrors?
If you died tomorrow I know I'd cry.
And I'd wonder why.
I'm always here, but always far away.
I don't think I can stand this for one more day.
If I died today would you even care?
If I died today would you even dare?
Dare to live my life for me?
Be my eyes so I can see?
I'm only just a kid, but thats no matter.
If I died I'd be stuck on the latter.
When you talk of Heaven, I plug my ears.
And turn my back so you don't see my tears.
I won't go to Heaven and thats a fact.
If I go to Hell they'll only send me back.
I don't want any promise from you.
I don't even care what you do.
If I died right now would you even care?
Because my lights going out and I've lost my flare.
Author notes
I wrote this during math class. i was really sad and it just stared flowing. thanx 4 reading it.
Written May 21st, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Definitely a depressing thought process. It's one I've gone through many times myself. I think the only thing that brings the flare back is just living in the moment and forgetting to analyze everything. Easier said than done, I know. At any rate, this was a great write. Well done.
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It is very very well written. Flows well and everything. I'm sorry if you feel sad. Hey I'm 16 too! an I live in Washington. sorry...that was random.
But yeah...keep it up!
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Danm. Thats powerful its so full of doubt and sorrow. A total loss of hope and will of anything. If i read this too many times im fonna get depressed. Really nice job with the words, it went together very nicely. Keep it up, TTYL!
- Jaguar ;~)
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great poem! nice rhyming too...cool write, byez!
~Karinn
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good times
thanx for the spelling, ive never been good at that. i was having a sucky day and one of my friends made me write my feelings. its one of my best(in my opinion) and i thank him everytime i get another comment. thanx -
Ladder is spelt with two d's not t's! But other than that it was a good read. I feel the same way I'm living alone right now. I spent christmas without a family. I wake up everyday because I go to sleep praying for not another day. I can relate so well. And if I died I know I would go to hell. And if I died right now not to many will care.
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good times
whats prose? thanx for the idae though. -
thank you for the comment. i liked how this poem went, alot of people could relate to what you said. i think this would perhaps be a little more interesting if it didn't rhyme so much and perhaps if it was wrote as a prose? i don't know, that is just my opinion. i like how it went though.
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good job
hey steph, I love this poem and you know I would care if you died. hell i migh even kill myself and then others will killthemselves for you and me and then we would be decreasing the population but thats not the point.
a title for this peice could be..... Died care or would you even care something like that. well i g2g
Love always
megan
ps- post balck nails!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I am definetky staying on OC for at least another year! woo - hoo -
good times
hey, you got the point of this poem perfectly. thanx 4 reading it. can you help with a title though? -
Excellant
Hey Stephanie, First of all, I would care if you died. Actually I would be very very depressed because you we're one of the first persons I got to know here in oc. Anyways, other than that it was a very good write. Actually I loved it but yeah I'll talk to ya later.
HighSkoolBaller -
This is so very good. To me it speaks of wanting to be close, but not being able to do it. Feeling that isolation, and knowing you've got that friend, but not being able to accept that friendship... I really liked this, great job.
~whisper
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