Dark long hair
Emerald eyes see things not
By mortal eyes
Author notes
Written April 26th, 2002
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1 - 15 of 15
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oh nice senyru last line is stellar
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I loved the part about emerald eyes, thought it was perfect for this poem. Maybe though you could fix the second line, because between the last part of the second line and the third line I was a little confused. Excellent Haiku though!
~M~
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The imagery of this 5-7-4 haiku is beautiful. This 'ku has resonance. I suggest you minimise the capitalisation of the first alphabets of L2 and L3 as they tend to be distracting to the reader.
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I envy you forms and Haiku's I did one or two and all that counting went straight over my little head. I know I am a ignorant but I can admire other people and their beautiful work more that way.. This leaves me with so many pictures and stories in my mind which is what any good story or poem should do.. Take Care Hon, Catressa
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simply beatiful. Way!
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Excellent
Hi Susan:
A very graphic write that tells the whole story in three short lines. Thanks for sharing this piece. Bill -
Excellent
Wow...I don't care much for haiku, but I love this one. It's great. -
Great Haiku ~thanks for sharing
This is a great Haiku (((big smiles))) less is more ,,I did a poem called "The Seer" ..Skinwalker and Skinwalker2 are the same I forgot to put in a password on the first raf ~oh "The Seer"
He travels the desert from tribe to tribe
The dreams are pure, he knows who lives or dies
In motion translated to the Chief as a show of respect
But actually it's the Medicine Man he came to get
Together they walk through the village like Gloom and Despair
No warrior is accorded the privilege to engage in the stare
Dark shadows on the sands are coming to me
O Great Creator, what does the Seer see
The silhouette's stopped to encircle my wife
Sadness piercing my heart deeply as the whole of a knife
Knowing your vision is the way it will be
Please why can't you leave your mark on me
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not sure what haiku is?
but liked this one also very nice write hun. cheers 
smiley
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neutral
Loverly. -
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interesting.........
they keep getting better and better....
thanx so much for sharing
~sheshe143~ -
excellent
if it is good does it matter how you write it..... -
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4-7-4?
i'm not familiar with this form on haiku.
really not familiar with ANY form other than the 5-7-5 syllabic count.
interesting write. -
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Another good one, well written. -
neutral
mortal eyes sometimes grow weak,
but, still get a nice perception.
a lovely write.
:0)
Nam
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