He opened perfume bottles
stored in old drawers
of longing he searched,
seeking your scent.
Among a hundred thousand jewels
he found you,
a mixture of peach, apple, almonds, amber,
a rare perfume.
your sunlight burning beauty
your kohl, a mystery,
your bracelet's silvery intrigue,
Innocence shies away
Author notes
read crticaly
Written May 19th, 2004
A contest entry
- A love That Surpasses All. by Poetryintheblood.
525 points, ended September 15, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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thanks poetryin thebloold
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Hi Moses I am glad to find you here
thank you for your sweet kindness
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As lovely as always - you write in such mysterious and sensual words that are pure fascination to me. I feel like I'm feasting on a sumptuous meal every time I read one of your dreamy compositions. Keep writing, doctor, you made me feel better already!
Moses -
Elegant!
This is a beautiful poem and I am so glad I followed the scent from your "Perfume Bottles" - indeed a rare perfume this poem is! The jewels, the kohl, the silver bracelet creates pictures of Egypt's mysteries in my mind - wonderful imagery and feelings of gentle sadness, yet also elegant sensuality.
Nicolette
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Hmmmm...very nice Mona. I think you did a wonderful job with this piece. I like how the man tried to find his love's scent, just so that he could remember her. That was beautiful I too liked how you described the scent. Great job with this!
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thanks clammy bottle keep scent as mind keeps memory ;
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I like it , it was simple...but i'm wondering why did he.....that's what i wanna know...anyways this was asimple image a quick glimpse and i like it that way..but still am a little curious what he was doing with the bottles...anyways great poem...clammy.
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thanks for complements
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Peacelink sent me over and I am glad she did, this is wonderful. it is the sense of smell that is most closely linked to memory. Tht is why we are drawn to certain things. They trigger memories firther back than any sight or sound can... This is well written and i must come back for more..
Susan -
Thanks Andrew i am glad ya like my work
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Read critically; I did and being brutally honest,
it's brilliant, this says far more than first appears, a very good poem.
If I was to suggest any changes it would be, L2, I'd move the last two words down to L3, just to play with the reader's image.
He opened perfume bottles
stored in old drawers
of longing he searched,
Just my thought on this, but it is a very fine piece as it stands.
Andrew -
This is simply wonderful, one more your metaphors transport me. Your poetry so rooted in your culture is like a magic carpet ride. Reading it is enough to enter another world. A beautiful exotic world, a world that in every way pleases the senses. The colours the fragrances the images... nothing fails to please.
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