time management

there seems to be no end in sight
when the mad rush of days come to an end
sooner than expected
as if time were some sort of constant reminder
of how far you are from me
staring at the clock, knowing im torturing myself
with numbers
as if subtracting the time, will bring you closer to me
knowing the harsh reality of my own truth
i am here, and you are gone
sooner than expected
pain is irrelevant, it comes and goes with the territory
but emotions such as love, differ in a way that can only be called extraordinary
so many times we've held each other, joking about locking away the other's heart
so that we might forever be in bliss
but time changes, as does the world
into a place where holding, laughter, and time
are no longer important
as if there were someone else taking up chambers of your heart
its been a long time, i've missed the persona as well
and your extraordinary effort changes nothing in mine eyes
time with the other is necessary, important, critical to the continuance of the relationship
but still hurtful
deeply knowing all will be well
but in the small rush of hostility
bordering on jealousy and anger
i find my true self
one i had hoped never existed in me at all
but i was not created in perfection
none of us are
but to reduce complex emotions into simply worded phrases
undoes the justice these feelings deserve
to say i love, i miss, i hate you
would underscore the importance of my feelings
and that is what you can never understand
because of your duty
to us
for to make you choose will not come down to me or you, or him
there will be no choosing at all
it will be my acceptance of the existence of other people in the world you and i have created