resting gently, against the wooden case
brushed against cotton threads
rocking slowly
to the rhythmn of the water
makeup smeared, without your glasses
gazing deeply into your eyes
as I slip farther into your web
an illusion...has never been so beautiful
wrapped in insignificance
as i'm fed another lie
I know you feel nothing
yet I can't seem to trap it up inside
let your sweet torment
tear me limb from limb
for in this game of love
no one ever...truly wins...
Author notes
Written May 16th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
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Interesting vivid ideas about an all to common subject that you took to another place. You give to the reader a small story to read outside the bounderies of cliche. We say that this poem sits above most written pieces , Dealing with the issue of love.
P.S. I am glad I finally had time to view something by you. At least you haven't changed.
Your friends Jaunty and Slaughter
( To lazy to each sign off )
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it made perfect sense, and don't worry the "Masochism Romanticised" has been copyrighted to Lemel...
I can't thank you enough for the reviews, I always look forward to your opinion on things... one day I shall return the favors... hopefully when I stop working doubles, and overtime.
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so true, so true. i love this one much, i'd hug it if it was real. it's beautifully written. almost a melancholy, it makes me feel that love is just masochism romanticised - you know there's pain but you keep coming back for more regardless. and don't steal that 'masochism romanticised'. it's mine and i owns it.
i enjoyed the subtle imagery you employed here, and the way the ending trails off gives an impression of either defeat, or distraction. as if the object of your thoughts has just entered and your train of thought crashes, burns and dies in a strangely good/bad way. i know what i mean. but do you?
Rock On!
~Tal~
(i'm sorry if that didn't make sense. i think the after-school class i had today really kicked my mind around a bit )
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