the breaking of dawn
reveals a rosebud
uninspired to bloom
the hot summer sun
shines on a red rose
flourishing in all its beauty
the nights shimmers surround
a wilted weeping rose
ashamed and lonely
Author notes
This poem resembles me. How reluctant I am to get up in the morning, how I pretend to be happy during the day only to face myself in my own solitude at night. Hope this explains the poem.
Love D.L.
Written May 16th, 2004
A contest entry
- Less Is More by Sashaness.
300 points, ended April 11, 2006, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Amazing
I can see why this won gold; it's brilliant! One of the best poetic metaphors I've ever read.
Oustanding job on this one, and thanks for the comment on "Pinkerton."
Keep writing!
-Roo
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this is beautiful. good luck in tje ocntest.
jess -
wow... cool...
Echt heeel heel goed
Goed dat je dat laatste er ff bij zei ik vond het al een beetje vreemd, maar ik snap hem HELEMAAL MOOI
Heb je gelezen dat'k op je hompage geweest ben?
Amaris -
in view of your comments i can appreciate this poem even more. i like the idea of having to face yourself at the end of the day. at night its just you and your thoughts that you must deal with.
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I really liked this poem, and the metaphorically aspect of it. You say it repersents you, but your poem represents everyone. How hasn't felt this way at one time or another in their life? Excellent job.
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sad...and beautiful
the two combined so perfectly
well done!
i enjoyed very much
thanks
ashes~ -
Beautiful and delicate. I love the red rose magery.
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Concrete.
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A very beautiful write..yet it has a sadness to it..very nicely expressed..some great imagery as well..thank you for entering the contest..good luck to you...
~~Kristy -
this is quite beautiful
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is this poem about love, by any chance? the fact that it takes a while to develop (the rosebud), is fantastic in its entire glory (the red rose) and then kinda loses the magic after a while (the wilted rose)
just a thought!
ally
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I love it!
I think the poem is totally awesome! I love it! I think everything was written very well and nothing needed to be improved! Congrats on this fab poem and keep up the good work! NEVER let anyone tell u anything is wrong with what u write, if you like it other people will too. -
I disagree with "Dee"...I think the poem is beautiful as it is. Well written.
~Liadan -
I like this poem, but I think it could be improved upon. The theme and thought process and the main idea for the poem is lovely, and i see what you are trying to convey. I think that the strongest verse in the poem is the first one, and it really made me eager to read the rest. Yet, the other two verses didn't live up to the expectation. I see the basic pattern of dawn, afternoon and night, and that is great. I just reread it and reconsidering I think that the last verse is actually really good. I just think that this poem could reach even more emotions and feelings if the second verse was slightly improved. Other than that, great job!
-Dee-
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