by ~Gregg Rowe~
blades of grass shimmer
we sweep loose summer dog hairs
off the kitchen floor
Author notes
Written May 16th, 2004
In a list
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A contest entry
- Autumn’s Wonder by astralshepherd.
345 points, ended September 22, 2004, 48 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Postmarked: It so funnny, because I was thinking of Emily Dickinson while I was penning these words...what a coincidence! Gregg
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This kind of remind me of Emily Dickinson's poem She Sweeps With Many-Colored Brooms. Nice memories because it made me go find the poem that I was thinking of.
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chukles . . i got it . . as do cats and DOGS
. . they start shedding for the new growth to protect in the autumn winter cycle . . bit oblique if you not had animal friends living with you . .lol .. well done
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My dog has shedded everywhere of late. Didn't know that that siginified Fall(Autumn. Very clever haiku here my friend. I hope all is well with you. Good luck with the contest!
Much Love,
Renee
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Haiku hold few words, but when done well they shout brilliance.
This is a wonderful way to recognize autumn's arrival.
Well done.
Sam
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Lovely fall, and doesn't a dog shedding just bring it all home. Good luck in the contest.
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Gregg, thank you so much for your entry into my contest “Autumn’s Wonder” This comment is simply a ‘boiler plate’ remark I have made on each entry to let you know I appreciate the effort you made in creating this poem and entering this contest and that I have read your work. I have made preliminary notes on your poem and should you decide to make any revisions, (which is perfectly ok) please (IM) me and let me know so I can re-visit it and revise my notes accordingly. Again my thanks, blessings and best wishes ~richard
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Aha! Yeah, that's why it was confusing. My dogs would shed their winter under-coat to be cooler for Summer, then grow it again in Autumn. Yours literally changes her coat.
Hehe! Weird Canadians!
Still an excellent ku.
~ Gennelle
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~G~: the clue to autumn is in the poem:
we sweep summer dog hairs
off the kitchen floor.
I know it is autumn/fall when Boots (my dog) sheds at this time of year getting her winter coat. Must be the Canadian seasons. Gregg
Edited on Sep 11, 6:47 p.m. because ''. -
Nice image, Gregg ... but a little confusing to me as to season. I don't know of dogs that shed in Summer, mine (and others I know) used to shed their winter coats in Spring. So, I'm afraid sweeping up dog hair suggests the beginning of Summer to me. Maybe you have a hairier dog!
~ G
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great piece ...I see a vision here...freda
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I generally murder the haiku form, so I'm not one to criticise. These images are so clear I could see the broom, well done. Congratulations on the silver!
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Just wanted to say congrats on the silver! (As I had already commented on this before.)
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I agree with Black Lace, this have nice imaginary..... Well done for winning the silver cup ...you deserved it
pinkwhite -
Another summer, it will so swiftly pass. Nice imagery in such a few words, well done.
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I can so relate to this (seeing as there almost always seems to be dog hair needing swept up around here)... and the background fits perfectly.
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This is perfectly formed and made me smile. Good luck in the contest.
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It all depends on your interpretaion, but they both grow before being chopped. I had to read it twice to catch the joke!
Gregg
Edited on May 21, 1:53 p.m. because ''. -
LOL. Great play with a fun form. Nature indeed. Grass equals nature doesn't it?
I liked this very much. It brought a smile to my increasingly growing mask.
~Bezoar -
I hate haiku, but I like yours. Maybe I just don't like them because I can't write them. Blah. Great job, Gregg.
~Tawnya~
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Excellent job here. I'm more of a cat person myself because in my experience, dogs shed way too much (granted I know some dogs shed less than cats not the ones I've had). Nice monkey.
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very yummy, gets down to the deep feeling of Autumn. It implies there is nothing really to do, and that summer is over, and that we are starting new. It portrays the loneliness that comes with autumn (in my mind). Anyway, great write Gregg, i loved it. Thanks for sharing. Cheers, Daniel.
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Nicely done!
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ooooooooooo i like it! that is exactly what happens in the fall. course i like apple cider. and since your in the kitchen i could smell that.
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