Intro:
How the world has changed
Will it ever, ever be the same?
Mother’s cry
And wish for their baby’s back
Teenagers get knocked up
Nothing to do for that poor baby
Nothing in the future
But a life full of nothingness
A little girl cries
Because her father left
She wishes for a new life
A life away from all this pain
She thinks about the wonderful places
Wonderful places where happiness lives
And wonders, why doesn’t happiness live here?
No one will ever know
A teen age girl cries alone in a room
No one understand what she goes through
They don’t understand why she is different
But still they make fun of her
A life she couldn’t help but have
A life that is unchangeable
Can she make it through?
No one will ever know
A high school drop out walks alone down a street
No one she can trust
No one there
Every one she meet along her path of life
Every one who laid their misunderstanding eyes on her
Gone
Left her for dead
She has nothing, no one else
She couldn’t make it through alone,
Although she was alone the whole time
Everyone left her
Unbelievable through her eyes that she could make it this far
But can she make it farther?
No one will ever know
An old lady cries on the corner
A shopping cart is all she has
Nothing more, nothing less
All alone in this world
She came farther then most
But still she did fail
Where would she be?
If one person had cheered her on
Just been there for her
No one will ever know
Every time she met the sun
And started her run through the flowers of spring
Winter came upon her lonely nights
And all her flowers died
Shivers shook her restless body
Till her eyes closed shut for sleep
Tears all down her dirty face
She knew life wasn’t meant to be like this
But every time happiness was at her finger tips
Something went wrong
And she wasn’t close to happiness,
But close to her normal life of pain and depression
But what happened?
Why did it go?
When, she ask, when is it my turn?
Through it all
Every night she looked up
To a sky full of stars sparkling
Knowing she is no different
No different then all the people across the world
Everyone looks up to the same beautiful stars
She prays to a god that she hopes is listening
Every night she asks
God please when is it my turn
To look up to the stars in a house of my own
To look up to the stars without these tears in my eyes
Please, god? When is it my turn
Lead me on farther, farther more
Lead me till I get there
A lady dead on the side walk
A shopping cart next to her side
Full of memories of heartache
That no one will ever know
No one will ever understand
How long till the next one cries
Over their parent gone?
No one knows
How long till one wonders
Wonders where the happiness lives?
No one knows
How long till the next one cries alone
Cries alone in a classroom wondering why she is so different?
No one knows
How long till the next one walks away
Till the next high school drop out?
No one knows
How long till the next one has nothing
Nothing but their shopping cart, or their cardboard box?
No one knows
How long till the next one dies?
No one knows
Author notes
Letting go of the past – TheRoseIsFrail
Look at me – SilverNightAngel
I will be there – Shameless Passion
Society’s Claim – Shameless passion
Written May 15th, 2004
A contest entry
- Show Me Some Talent!!!! by The Perfect Moment.
300 points, ended July 9, 2005, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Wow, nice nice
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THIS IS AMAZING!!! wow it made a powerful statement this isone of the few poems ive read lately that have actually left me thinking. and in alot of ways i can relate to the people in this poem
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That is AMAZING. I ABSOLUTLY LOVED IT! I loved how you went through all of the different stages of life and how at the end you asked the questions that no one seems to ever answer My favorite part was:
Every time she met the sun
And started her run through the flowers of spring
Winter came upon her lonely nights
And all her flowers died
Shivers shook her restless body
Till her eyes closed shut for sleep
Tears all down her dirty face
She knew life wasn’t meant to be like this
But every time happiness was at their finger tips
Something went wrong
And she wasn’t close to happiness,
But close to her normal life of pain and depression
But what happened?
Why did it go?
When, she ask, when is it my turn?
Through it all
Every night she looked up
To a sky full of stars sparkling
Knowing she is no different
No different then all the people across the world
Everyone looks up to the same beautiful stars
She prays to a god that she hopes is listening
Every night she asks
God please when is it my turn
To look up to the stars in a house of my own
To look up to the stars without these tears in my eyes
Please, god? When is it my turn
Lead me on farther, farther more
Lead me till I get there
That whole segment was very powerful. You have a true gift with words. Amazing, keep it up!
-Samantha
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This is a wonderful piece. I mean it is gorgeous in every aspect. I love this piece so much. It is hearfelt. I know know how else to describe it so I leave it as this, splendid work. It was a pleasure to read. I enjoyed it very much. So I thank you for sharing this fine piece. You have a wonderful day and may God bless you too. Keep up the wonderful job...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~This is an electrifying piece~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~This poem rocks
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Hardships n obstacles...very difficult to cope with. Very meaningful message in your piece...touching! Keep on writing n best wishes...Be blessed!
~BabyBlues~ -
Great
Wow i'm speechless this was an awesome poem. One of the best ones I have read. You have an amazing talent. And it brought a great message about what the world has come to. Great job please keep on writing and I will be looking forward to reading more of your work. Best of wishes
XoOx
Kimmie -
Hi there,
I feel that this was very interesting, I found this was an awesome poem to read. It was quite long to read, but worth it I have to agree. Your flow was great. Well done and thanks for sharing. I hope that you continue to write, and continue to share with us. All the best to you and yours
Blue moon -
WOW! WOW! triple WOW! this is a great awsome beautiful sad all in one write!! I love this piece! took a while to read but it was sooo well worth it! your have lots of talent!!!!! Great job~EDGE<3
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WOW
"How long till the next one cries alone
Cries alone in a classroom wondering why she is so different?
No one knows"
this piece is all too beautiful, powerful, full of emotion. You've done a stunning job.
keep up the great work. "She couldn’t make it through alone,
Although she was alone the whole time
Everyone left her
Unbelievable through her eyes that she could make it this far
But can she make it farther?" Wow.. this piece just strikes me.. the whole poem is just.... WOW.
love
amy -
WOW!!! Great poem. you really got some talent i hope you never stop writing. i really liked this poem i even read it twice. if you have aim my name is Jermslifesux. anyway like i said i really liked that poem. P3@c3
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awesome. this is just grand. i love it.
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wow this is really good...i really like it...you should write another poem about the same subject...or soemthing...i dont know...great job though...keep writing...please dont deprive the world from reading your awesoem pieces!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~me -
The line "How the world has changed" was a great way to open the poem. It sets the tone to the reader as to what the poem is about. And it's so true that the world has changed. Asking the question in the line "Wonders where the happiness lives" I think is something we all ask. With all that is happening, we want to answer that question as to where is all the happiness in the world.
This was a great poem and I feel it was so true to life. Great write. -
You know what this reminds me of?
Youth of the Nation by POD, I kinda like that.
I like it because I Love thaty song hehehe. But I mean that isnt the only reason.
Actually I think it is pretty good! I love it!
Fabulous job! BRAVO! -
A message of what we have let life become. The reason we don't know, is that most don't care. It's time to care, give innocense back to the children, let them live, let them live, great write, very touching, and emotional.
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A very sad write that tugs on the readers heart and makes me just want to reach out and give you a great big hug for such a heartfelt piece of writting
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excellent
I thought it was a great poem that carried a great message.I agree somewhat w/Jack up there,but in other ways i think he's dead wrong.Yes bad choices in our lives can be the cause of problems.But in this day and age if you are not independently wealthy or have rich relatives you could depend on,each and every one of us could be on the streets in a yrs time.Believe me I seen it happen when sickness hit a family w/a half/ass insurance policy.Sometimes we just aren't able to pick the game we play and we all don't get dealt good hands. sorry for my speech,but I did read your long poem.lol Jacki D -
*SPeechless* this was on my mind, but seeing it written now jst takes my breath away
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I normally don't read these long poems, just because i'm lazy haha.. but DAMN am i glad i read this one. Its amazing. what a story...
A lady dead on the side walk
A shopping cart next to her side
Full of memories of heartache
That no one will ever know
No one will ever understand
This stanza stood out to me, it's very strong. "A shopping cart next to her side, Full of memories of heartache" This reminds me almost like looking back in a photo album of old pictures of someone you lost, or forgot... hard memories, but it's all you have. GREAT work. i'm in awe...
-allison -
ok, xanadu needs a life first off... and second this was a very well structured piece... and very very detailed... It was long, but it wasn't over wordy, it was pretty much perfect on in my opinion... the subjuect matter was a little more societal then I normally care to read, but you did it in a very tasteful and much more understandable way which kept me involved all the way to the end! In all, this is an amazing piece!
Sincerely,
MrPink -
Ok... I know your comment was short but I'll do a stanza by stanza here.
1: Repeating ever here may have been good or bad. It set a certain flow, you just have to follow up with that flow. A bit overwhelming with the "nothing". Maybe change the second nothing, and the nothingness?
2: Here, don't repeat "A life", just start with "away". Also same thing with "wonderful places". To much repetitive language, here again with happiness.
3: Good, bringing your title in.
4: Teenage is one word. Why is she crying, why is she different, what doesn't she understand? Why do they make fun of her? Show don't tell. Also don't repeat "a life" here. Getting repetitive with the this person cries, that person cries, perhaps cries should be the name of the poem? Hehe.
5: Fine, go ahead, repeat this.
6. No one, no one... Everyone everyone. You know how I feel about that. Tell us (well show us) why she dropped out of school. While here you aren't repeating exact wording, your thoughts are identical. Alone, everyone left her, and well alone, are all the same thing.
7. Here, this fits well. Good.
8. Ok... You play on a few common cliches here, but overall this may be your most powerful stanza. I like the imagery of the seasons of her life. Watch the repetitiveness (if that is a word) again near the bottom.
9. Sidewalk is one word. Don't say full of, it ruins the flow. Hmmm... the end here should be separated to keep with the theme, and the no one will understand should go above the "no one will ever know".
***Got to go eat, will finish later*** -
Very Nice!
Rather lengthy but very good expression...very good message in this piece
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excells beyond words
this poem is wonderful,it's very true!! noone really knows what others are going through!! we all just sit and think,oh my life is so tough,and we foget that everyone else has problems too!! well,this was really enjoyable to read!! you are a great poet,and your talent is very noticeable!! keep up the fine work,hugs poetic janis/dani -
I'm mixed of whether or not this is a message to the world or a story that leads to the end of a poem, or both. There are many things I agree and other things I don't agree with.
1. Everyone has a deck of cards (sometimes a few) that they're delt, and incidently if you don't know the game or play with the wrong people you'll lose. But play the right way and you'll win.
2. I agree highly that the world has changed. Some for the better but yeah a lot for the worse as well, only time will tell what everything makes of this. I still thnnk it could be better, but that's why we're human right? to improve things and make mistakes.
Other than that I wish these people luck.
Have a good night
~ Jack Hertz -
damn that mother was long...I didnt mean to say that I would trade with you. I was saying that when you want someone to read a poem you are supposed to say "Does anyone want to trade reads"...that way you wont get banned for promoting illegally. You kind of jumped the gun and started commenting on my stuff, thank you, and I felt bad.
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oh my goddess bethany. that was great. i think it was your best one in a really long time. the world has changed so much (like i said in my lj yesterday) and it's sad. it's sad that no one cares about anyone but themselves. it's sad that innocent people who were never given a chance die every day. it's just so sad. i love you. and i'm so glad that you share your poetry with so many all over the world. i like to think that everyone who reads this will stop and think and realize that yes, the world is sad, and if they do it's because of you. and no matter what else is going on in your life (or who) then you still know that you deserve the best. because you are the best. this poem is great. just a little more great that all your others. i'm sure a lot of people will agree with me. talk to you later. hope i can see you this summer
**********aly***********
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