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take one for the team

take one for the team
win you know that you'll lose
take one for the team
when you cant keep up with the score
take one for the team
when everyone is against it
take one for the team
when you feel like you where cheated
take one for the team
when you lose yourself in love
take one for the team
when it died for your sins
take one for the team
and he'll wash away your sins
take one for the team
so that we might live again
he took one for the team
and he took it for you

Author notes


Written May 15th, 2004

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • May 24, 2004
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    I'm sorry, this doesn't fit the rules. It is a good fairytale about the myth of Jesus though. ( my opinion only ) Have another go and enter again and write about a real teacher, there is still time, dave.


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    May 21, 2004
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    This would make for an EXCELLENT praise song. I like it a lot. Different, and has a very special slant that speaks to the world in the mental state it's in.

    It's too bad it doesn't fit the criteria. Please try again. Warmly, CookieZeal


  • Ava Noire silver member
    May 20, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I kind of agree with NurseHayley about this. This is more of a spiritual poem. I think it is expressed nicely though, and hope you have fun exploring AP

  • Open Eyes
    May 19, 2004
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    I think I needed to read this right now... My sincerest thanks for posting this, a reminder that slapped the anger, bitterness, malice and resentment from my brain. I suppose we always need to welcome a chance to take one for the team. Regardless of what contest/category this fits in (although I'm with you, I feel like Jesus is the best teacher who ever lived), regardless of any of the other details, I am touched, and I am humbled.


  • NurseHayley
    May 15, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Sorry but I am afraid I don't see entirely how this fits in with the contest criteria... Maybe you should consider re-working this or post another poem which follows the criteria closer
    Thanks though, was a nice little poem on it's own
    Hayley
    ~x~

1 - 5 of 5