by ~Gregg Rowe~
I sashay my days and contemplate
About my soul
Will I be happy today?
What would I want?
What do I want to give back to the world?
Because I want to give
Expect nothing in return
I am answerable only to one
That is myself
I want to KNOW myself
To search my inner soul
Travel a journey with my family history
Search for my lost legacy
To know ME
I am lost
Destitute to die
Ask the proverbial questions
Of an unfinished life
Oh, the doves of peace
Flutter their wings in my mind
Causes chaos
I cannot not see the logic
My sole solitude
Is to escape in a kayak
Float on the river of life
Watch a Montreal summer sunset
Hidden by thunderous cumulus clouds
Of purple, pink, and orange
Inferno skies that represent my past
Father engulfed to meet the flames
Of his incestuous sins
'The world is a stage
And we are all actors
In our own play'
My father immortalized himself
In the dungeons of his mind
The devil ate him that January night
Turning me into Hamlet
Living with the ghost of my father
An indifferent mother
'To be or not to be'
A man is no longer the question
In my mind I must murder you both
To free me of an insidious past
To become the man
I want to be
Unrifled by the monarchy
Of the Church and State
Let me drift upon the waves
Of the white water river
Fight the chaos of the cascades
Before I smash into the jagged rocks
Of mother earth, and swept into her
Undertow of an abyss
Never to see ME
Yet, though I walk through
The time of life
I am in no hurry
Because the pain I feel
Screams that I am alive
Death is living
For without living
There would be no death
That is the whole
ME
I possess the ultimate power
In the world
To peek inward and ask
The proverbial questions
Why am I here?
Who am I?
Let me walk down that path
Discover these answers
So that the legacy I leave behind
Is not so much my creativity
But that I left
The world in a better place
Through my experiences
Through my life
Of re-creating
Bring to life
A form
An understanding
Show what I see
And have discovered
An eye
That gives insight
Where darkness has covered it
A light
That shines within our depths
Even in our turbulent moments
A hope
That peace is attainable
Only when you confront the chaos
And cement my soul
For a lifetime battle
Author notes
This poem is written on the subject of finding self-love. If we cannot love or acceptance ourselves first, then how can we gain the experience and knowledge to love another. The road to self-love and acceptance is to turn your inside, out and shake the beejingles out of your faults.
Bold Italics--Shakespeare
Light Italics--mine
This is my spiritual journey. I have many beliefs, and they are in the process of merging. I am at a level where in order to understand the cosmic universal force, no matter what entity you would like me to believe in, I first have to make a voyage within myself and become honest with myself. The references by Shakespeare are from Hamlet, where he talks in his speech about murdering his uncle for the avenge of the murder of his father, in order to free himself of this torment. It is a long process, sometimes a lifetime, some people never reach their plateau and I have no idea if I will reach mine, but in the meantime, I will continue this journey and keep taking in experiences to strengthen myself in the search of what I need for a spiritual peaceful life. (That is the best way I can describe this journey to you.) Gregg
Written May 15th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- What is Love? by -simply me-.
400 points, ended February 12, 2006, 25 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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You have obviously overcome much pain. I find this piece hopeful, like you are at the point in your life where you are ready to leave your past behind and move into a strong and inspirational future. there are many levels to this poem, and I really enjoyed reading it. I am sure that you will leave a mark on this world, as you suggested in the lines:
"So that the legacy I leave behind
Is not so much my creativity
But that I left
The world in a better place
Through my experiences
Through my life
Of re-creating"
Good luck and thanks for entering my contest! -
The journey to find inner clarity and peace is often filled with pitfalls of our own making..but reading this poem, I realise that here is a peson with such conviction and presence of mind to already know..I wish you well on your search Gregg
Edited on May 30, 5:51 p.m. because ''. -
Yeah I believe that the true peace and exquisite happiness that I have now is so intense because of the horror of my past life! It's the contrast. This is an honest and intriguing glimpse into your heart and life.
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well this is a very good pome i really like it..it told me alot about you well done and good luck in my contset
much love
~SARA~
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If it wasn't for visiting Phantene(1st commenter) who is my adopted grand daughter of Joans, she calls her Nan,Joan told me about it also, you know she is a big fan of yours, I would not have seen this marvellous piece, it certainly is an inspiration to read it my dear friend~love~Sally
Edited on Feb 20, 9:36 p.m. because ''. -
This is beautiful. You have not had the easiest time, and it inspiring to read how strong you are. Congratulations on the Silver trophy.
~whisper
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Wow Gregg, this is just incredible. I wish I had the strength in me to take this kind of journey now, but alas, I do not. Despite my feelings, this is definitely inspirational and well worth the silver. Congrats!
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Ripple: Thank you for re-visiting this piece and re-reading it. May I be so bold as to suggest you clip this out and tuck it away and revisit it in twenty years time
. (By the way we are neighbors.) 
It's one of my soul-searching ones and I often have to come back and see it over and adjust lines on it. I will be glad to explain any confusing aspects for you so you can renjoy the narrator's voice. Gregg
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nice
I had to read this poem twice before fully comprehending the message and the theme behind this great piece of work. I must admit it's pretty unique (with all the quotes) and it's really deep as well, and I like the way you talked about so many things, makes it very interesting but sometimes it makes me a little confused
(sowwie 
) but nevertheless it's a worthy poem 
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Deep.
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Gregg, I read strength and determination in this powerful write. You've written an excellent poem. May you find the questions on your answers and may you attain that spiritual peace you are searching for.
Myra
Edited on May 16, 5:16 p.m. because ''. -
I'm lamenting. Weeping in depth. How I love....because I KNOW. And I KNOW because I accepted the Lord and what He has revealed to me. It's of the limitless but confronted version. Truth. Oh.......
I will be crying for a long time.
I hate what was done.
I hate what was done that has caused you and others
to become what was done.
and what continues to become what's undone. UNDONE is as sure as something not substantial to life's joy.
((((( darlin' ))))!!! -
Expressed in many ways...Excellent
This was really NICE....Very thoughtful and great write..a little different but I like how you did it.........Excellent. -
lordoftherings~
Hey! I thought that this was a really good poem. It was nicely written and it had a good flow to it as well. You have a really good talent... don't let it go. It was really long but still good. Keep writing and thank you for sharing.
~!~Manda~!~ -
Good
I loved it good poem great write I think you put a lot of thought in to this and beleave that you should win the contest it is a good poem to put in a contest poetry is hard to write but is a great thing to have and helps heal the heart or may open some eyes good write buh bye -
its so great your a great write its such an inspirational piece i love it my faveourite part was
I am lost
Destitute to die
Ask the proverbial questions
Of an unfinished life its so good i love it
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good
"I am lost
Destitute to die
Ask the proverbial questions
Of an unfinished life"
this was my fav part of this piece this stanza just caught my attention, this was a very good write, well written nice job ~Raven~
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stunner
wow! i really liked this. its so true too i think. i love the way u put other quotes into it too...just made it flow on smoothly like treacle.
i really liked "Oh, the doves of peace
Flutter their wings in my mind
Causes chaos"
and "And cement my soul
For a lifetime battle"
the most. it added a real sense of je ne sais qua i hope to read lots more of ur stuff now!
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