sitting in the dark
as you dance in the light
morals you claimed to have
rusting into pieces
wrapped up in him
as you glance subtly at me
reassurance of nothings
foreshadowing the future at hand
worship his soul
for it's wrapped in gold
as you overlook another diamond
...beneath the coal
Author notes
Written May 14th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
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short and sweet
intersting title, I did'nt think the ending was weak. Diamond's beneath coal beautiful imagery.
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Yes, it's the weak ending that signifies the unrequited torment that shows this isn't over. It's an ongoing pain that is carried with you for a period of time. You can always look back and remember how it felt to not be good enough for someone...thankyou for the comment
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ahh, love. in response to it, a single word springs to mind. no, not pain. 'qua?'
a well-written representation of one of love's many forms. seems like unrequited love from a knowing mind? i know what i mean. unfortunately, i felt this had a rather weak ending, but the first two stanzas were very good. the first three lines of the second stanza (lost yet?) were, in my mind, the best moment of the piece. nice write.
Rock On!
~Tal~
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