'I'll never let go,' I whisper to myself.
Yet you continue to walk away,
by necessity or by force.
I hope you do not wish to leave.
My body aches as you step back from me,
counting every second,
till your crystal blue eyes fall upon me again with wonder.
Flattered, as if I were frozen diamonds scattered across night's backdrop.
A twinkle in my eye,
I stargaze back through your soul.
Glowing in fair skinned anticipation.
Anxiety skips a beat of my heart.
My eyes burst from their sockets,
attempting to take all of you in.
Place it permenantly in my memory bank.
Jammed with the coins of hope you exchanged for my trust.
My caress, you were oh so patient to recieve,
like dried summer flowers,
yearning passionately for a shower.
Finally one spring evening,
I soaked you with tears,
bringing you back from love's starvation.
And this is where we began.
This is where I pray it never ends...
I rest my head upon your shoulder,
and feel the stress of the day embrace then lessen.
You always answer to my call,
even though sometimes it is only to say,
in an attempt to blurt out everything I feel when I hear your voice,
"I love you"
Author notes
For the love of my life.
Written May 11th, 2004
A contest entry
- Tell me about the love of your life! by Lady Christian.
300 points, ended September 9, 2004, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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VERY WELL WRITTEN. sO MUCH EMOTION SO WELL DESCRIBED. tHE FLOW WAS EXCELLENT.
PRINCE -
wow this was great! I had trouble reading it with the font color you chose. I had to highlight it to see it. It didn't rhyme much which I am a fan of, but it doesnt need to rhyme to be poetry. I really felt you in this piece and i wish you luck in your love life, I hope he never gets away if he is your one true love. Good luck in the contest.
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wow, verry great i like the ending where you wrote:
an attempt to blurt out everything I feel when I hear your voice,
"I love you"
it's just awesome!! Good Luck in the Contest!!
-elysia-
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Very moving poem, remarkably done. I hope you do well in the contest because this is one of the best poems I've read yet. It's amazing, keep up the great work.
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LOL @ your author's comment. Shakespeare is worthy of admiration, but I think he's a tad old for ya, dear
Anyways, great vocabular and vivid descriptions. I'd hyphenate fair skinned and oh so patient, but that's just my personal preference. I'd also put a comma between enbrace & then. Oh yeah, the title should be "Inseparable" (I sometimes make the same spelling mistake though). I liked how the second to last line jumps in there to delay what I knew was coming. Well done, and good luck in the contest.
Edited on Aug 19 because ''. -
very good, but next time try darker text, was a little bright agianst the tan eggsheell color bkrd. i like ur style, i guess its cause i like details, good luck in my contest
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Extremely descriptive, beautiful words, and somehow I can relate to it. I think I'm gonna read this again.
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that omy!! that is exactly like my ex adam...wow. i still love him like this...anyways, it was an emotional poem, you are very open and i mostly loved the ending..."You always answer to my call,
even though sometimes it is only to say,
in an attempt to blurt out everything I feel when I hear your voice,
"I love you" " Just a wonderful write. Great job..keep it up!
I'm sorry i'm just getting around to judging..school just let out..finals..dial up internet...self explanatory...Love always and good luck,
MEgan
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