whisper gently
deeper into my soul
pull me under
let me yearn to know
twist me round your finger
play subtly with my head
bury me in your emotions
let me slowly fade away
deliverance into sorrow
as I slip farther into infinity
my savior loses his grasp
and eternity... becomes misery
Author notes
Written May 10th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
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Ken....you take off from this site for Goddess only knows how long, but you never fail to leave me speechless with your work. Once again you have written a wonderful peice, and it's something I could easily picture as a song, even if that's not what it is. I hope we get the chance to talk again soon, and I hope that all is well. Good luck to you my friend
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Interesting poem. The structure and flow is pretty good although the chances of a rhyme scheme in the first and third stanza throw the flow off just a bit. The ending is great. The whole piece is rather good and the ending just makes it better. Sorry if I haven't read many of the new ones you have posted. Good to see something new from you. Keep them coming.... Shadow
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very pretty word choice in this one. the first and third stanzas seemed to contain some semblance of a rhyme scheme, but the second one didn't - i felt this vaguely interrupted the flow of the piece, but it still works on most levels in any case. the last line was a brilliant finish; the darkened mysterious aura the piece holds is drawn to an abrupt halt with a blunt adjective. on that note, the last stanza held the most power in my opinion, and the words you used made it my favourite stanza. all in all, a most effective write. well done.
Rock On!
~Tal~
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