some things dont always work

my whole life sucks since your not here
it wasnt working, i had to much fear
but now your gone, i cant see right
and i know what you did when i left that night
i loved you so much and i guess i still do
but i know now that youve never been true
but i still just sit here all alone and cry
youve made my life hell, and i just what to die
i hate everything now and i dont trust a soul
youve taken me apart, ill never be whole
you were such a huge part of my life
and i stand here tonight alone with this knife
but i know i wont do it, even though i strive the pain
but my type of pain to you, is only a game
i know now that trusting is bad
and ill only end up all alone and sad
this hell that ive been through ill never forget
im falling down into an endless pit
the only one that can save me has made up his mind
and i guess in his thoughts my name never shined
so ill just keep on crying and live in "my" place
where the people i talk to, they wont have a face
ill stay in a zone where everything is just right
and i never wonder about what couldve happened that night
if i had stayed and been with you
we could have started something new
but now it will never happen, we both made this tough
i dont think i want you, because you made my life rough
but the romors are what tore us apart
i shouldnt have listened, i should have used my heart
but i know you lied to me so many times
you left me writing my thoughts in stupid rhymes
so much has happened and my life is upside down
ill never smile, all youll see is a frown
i feel so dumb, you opened my heart
but i didnt know youd just take it apart
but now i can never get it back
because what i need is the thing that you lack
i shake all the time, im messed up in the head
ever since you got her in bed
ill never be able to look at you that way
ill just keep my mouth shut like i do every day
i been through alot more then you know
count the times ive been cheated on... a dozen or so
you think that it hurts well youll never get me
ive had friends in the hospital that ill never see
my dads never there my mom always fights
im all alone in a room with no lights
i feel so sick my head is turning
my visions going, my soul is burning
i guess im through with all this pain
and ill never know if you feel the same
i shut up tight and never tell
of my secrets, my living hell