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Afterdeath

The light finally faded to pupil-black
If this was death, then why all the life
the everyday battle, with getting up.
Alternate universes provide exits.

Author notes

.
Written May 8th, 2004

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • J Rhys Davies
    October 1, 2004
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    You always seem to come up with the most interesting things. Sometimes I sit here pondering and sometimes I sit here thinking, “What the heck?” You know? This is a thinking piece though, so no worries.

    ~ John


  • idontno
    August 8, 2004
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    wooo can only say 1 thing powerful good work well done
    love sara


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    May 13, 2004
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    This is very good. Great imagery, and it's so true, a big question is why. Why go through all this just for it to end like that, makes is so meaningless. But for those who believe in heaven, this life is meaningless. Good job on this one.


    ~whisper


  • PrettyRagDoll
    May 9, 2004
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    Simplicity is beauty, and in the case of this poem, a haunting beauty. I agree with teardrop... this was incredibly powerful. You have awesome imagery in such few lines! I would definatly love it if you wrote more of it... however if you dont, its still great! Good write and good luck in the contestx


  • teardrop gold member
    May 9, 2004
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    Wow1 Very powerful write. I love the way you started this piece. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.

    TD

1 - 5 of 5