by Gregg Rowe
At Pooh Corner Gazette
Winniepeg Week-end Edition
Once Upon A Time
INTERNATIONAL BREAKING NEWS
THREE MEN IN A TUB ARRESTED FOR RUB-A-DUB-DUBBING ON FAERIE TALE ISLAND
Scandal of Organized Crime Emerging in Mother Goose Land
by Tigger
Ghost-written by
Winnie-the-Pooh
Mother Goose Land, Fairy Tale Island: (Cartoon Press)
Overseas this week, local bobbies from The Mother Goose Pig Station were kept busy. It started on Tuesday at 3 am when Three Men In A Tub were arrested by the local bobbies. From the sources available, transmitted to us by Twinkle Bell, who flew all night to get the news to us on time, three men were discovered in a bathtub in a sauna rub-a-dub-dubbing. The address was 69 Fellatio Road just off the trail that forks into two at the bottom of the hill on Faerie Tale Island. The Three Men in a Tub were actually taking a bath together with no clothes on.
At the time of their arrest, bobbies walked into the sauna to see the men soaping one another, conversing happily, and singing jingles. They were acting quite jovial and gay. Upon seeing the bobbies, the First Man in a Tub was quoted as quipping, "There's enough room in here for all you boys."
Beside the Three Men in a Bathtub, the bobbies discovered a plate full of Alice's Homemade Cookies, a bag of the Wicked Witch of the West's white powder, and grass grown from the plantation of The Three Little Pigs. When asked about the stock, the Second man in a Tub replied, "It came with the cost of renting the tub at the sauna."
Sources later learned that the sauna was rented out by Old Mother Hubbard, to make ends met so her cupboards would not be bare. Old Mother Hubbard was then arrested on suspicions of running a bawdy house pending being charged.
Upon further investigation, bobbies discovered that the supply of appetizers that the Three Men in a Tub were divulging in were supplied by the Old Lady in a Shoe. There was a warrant for her arrest, if she would have been found amongst all her kids.
The Three Men in a Tub and Old Mother Hubbard were then taken to the local Mother Goose Pig Station and placed in custody on The Brick House Road. Because of the severity of the charges, Faerie Tale Borough Judge would not grant bail to any of those charged.
When the four appeared before His Excellency The Emperor Wore No Clothes, all Three Men in a Tub pleaded their innocence. It can best be summed up by the Third Man in a Tub, who on the witness stand, pleaded with the Emperor that the men were only trying to save water by bathing together, and that rub-a-dub did not mean what the bobbies were arresting them for, but that they owned the copy rights to the song since they had memories.
The Emperor Who Wore No Clothes, as it turns out, has had his own run--ins with the local bobbies from Mother Goose Land, dismissed the charges and knighted The Three Men in a Tub. The First Man in a Tub asked the Emperor if there were positions opened for a Queen.
After the verdict and knighting of the Three Men in a Tub, all the people in Faerie Tale Land were joyous. Since the charges were dropped against The Three Men in a Tub, the evidence collected at the scene was inadmissible and Mother Hubbard was set free. The Old Lady in the Shoe, who was disguised as one of the Ugly Stepsisters, upon hearing the verdict, revealed herself.
Funeral services will be held Sunrise time, one day after tomorrow for Mr Big Bad Wolf, The Prince and The Pauper, and Ms Cinderella, who were all crushed to death when The Old Lady in the Shoe's children stampeded in to give her their support.
The tub that the men were found in was not brought down to the Kingdom and entered as evidence.
-30-
Author notes
6) Short story~or poem~ Write me a short story or poem of your very own fairytale something new something no one has ever heard before; not like others (don't make the short story TOO long)
Written May 6th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- 10 Option Contest!!! by Faded Existence.
400 points, ended February 5, 2006, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short storys by a ninja.
450 points, ended March 27, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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pretty good kind of funnny
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Lol.... I agree... this is hilarious! A fabulous little tale you have penned here!
Creative and witty! 
Best wishes and good luck in the contest!
~Frog -
ha! This is pretty hilarious.. Nothing I'd ever heard... very very creative I must say! great job! Kinda weird... but I like it.. thanks for entering!
~Amber~ -
Well this was certainly different, and raised a chukle or two
I loved the way you incorporated a lot of fairytail characters!
There's also something strangely funny about the idea of three naked men in a bathtub out on the streets.
Great write, keep it up!
-CK -
You're funny Gregg. Only you could think of something like this and write it so wonderfully. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck
~Jessica Erin
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this was too funny! Oh my gosh.. wow! I'm sure the Emperor and the third man would have made a great couple. Would you notify me if and when their marriage is scheduled? lol I love this!
~Amy
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the story was great.it created this magical world that opened up my mind in a way. the thing that got me going was the three men not the three kings. great story.loved it.
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A great write added with humor...loved it!
This was funny. And I agree with lady azure it did make me feel like it was real and I was really reading a news report. Its easy to see why you got the silver with this.Congrats Well done.I will have to read more by you soon. Alexis
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this was pretty funny! i Love things like this! when people take things and put a funny spin on them! this was very fun to read! good luck in the contest to you as well!
Kittie )0( -
this was just amazing. it was so detailed, and it really made me feel like i was reading a real news report. very clever.
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Just goes to show you what happens when you turn the government over to the Republicans!
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this is the missing story in the mother goose's lullaby collection isn't it??!! haha different but awes
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ROFLMAO.. that is hilarious...what a wonderful adult fairy tale you tell.
Well penned Greg..once again you bring a smile to my face.
Thanks for showing me this one.
Ann
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Very good reporting
I did the same with three blind mice. Good luck in the contest. You did a good job.God bles you
Rose
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Oh what a tangled tale you tell
A feat you practise oh so well! -
this was so awesome, you have such a great mind and a cool way of thinking of things, i always loved that about your work!
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this is very good, i like the imagination that you have got. the ending is very good as well with the twist that you have put into it. great write. keep up the good work and i will try hopefully to read some of your other work if i can get a chance. good luck with your future writes
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lol this was awesome very good write very good use of imagination and i loved the twist you added as welll i love reading work like this...!
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haha. thats hillarious. i like the twist you added. it's always fun to read things like this. you just brightened my night ^_^. well written, i'll deffinately check back to read more.
no regrets,
Rachel -
HAHA this was freaking awesome Gregg darlin!
loved the address of the place...beautiful
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