I can only imagine
the pain that you felt
that would make you leave me behind
I can only imagine
the desperation you felt
isolating yourself from all of us
Those last weeks must have been torturous for you
If only
I could have made you know
that it would be okay
If only
I could have held you close
and kept you from harm
The guilt I feel over losing you sometimes eats away at me
But now
that I know first hand
what it will do to my family
And now
that I understand the finality of it all
there's no way I could follow your lead
and someday we will be together again, and it will be okay
In a list
A contest entry
- Suicide and the aftermath..4 choices by Deviantpoetess.
300 points, ended May 6, 2004, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tired of HM's? (V) by PatheticKt.
300 points, ended August 16, 2008, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Ahh, I pretty much admire the hopeful thoughts that the persona triggered for the reader to delve into those
Subtle tone which I like and love the emotion felt here even with the lines in their simplicity, you know ^^
Heartfelt write, all in all
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the images that come to me are of someone leaving a note upon a gravestone ,so much emotion in it emotion from the love they felt from a person, but also love enough to say to them that i will not follow in your footsteps. Perfect idea for a poem
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Honorable Mention
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wonderfully worded. interesting subject matter. so sad yet with a twinge of hope....
peace and love
Susan
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excellent
I agree with Poetic Weaver..The style is certainly unique and each word is written with wisdom
The first stanza I has it's own meaning so I opt you keep it..Thanks for sharing a well penned write
Lori~ -
This is so sad - I have to nitpick a little though...(which is rare for your work I'm surprised!)
line 3 - I think the first you should be omitted
line 10 - that it would BE okay
line 16 - should be firsthand
Love the hope at the end...but I am a little lost as I'm not exactly sure who this refers to. Overall, I thought this was great - you are such an excellent writer and I always look forward to reading new stuff (at least I try to read it as it's posted I know I'm bad sometimes!!!) from you.
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i really didnt see the climax in this poem or the heart of it. maybe it was a poem to let out some emotion about a bad time? it was a nice poem, but nothing SUPER special. the hope at the end was nice...
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Foo Foo Kitty Flush
Very nice..Its a sad poem but it is not without purpose i agree that it is really well thought out and i enjoyed how you were tryin to find happiness and resolve instead of having the poem stuck on one feeling of complete sadness. -
great job!
Wonderfully expressed, and I liked the style lots, and the overall flow of this, I wish you well with this contest!
Thanks for sharing, laters!
-Timothy
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so very emotional a few missing words though but a completely powerful and incredible piece of writing keep up this stupendous writing!
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i so got were u were coming from it is a very deep thought out poem .. keep the great work up and hope to read some more!!
~--Angie--~
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