I was cutting on the dance floor, just the other night.
I was movin' to the groovin', I was feeling allright.
I was shakin' my booty with Miss Double-D Cup.
When old Evil Willie decided to show up!
CHORUS
Evil Willie... got a mind of his own
Evil Willie... He's bad to the bone!
Evil Willie... Only got one eye,
but he can embarrass ya till ya think ya wanna die!
I was pulling out my shirttail, so that Willie wouldn't show
when the band started playing a song that was SLOW!
as the girl of my dreams pressed up close to my chest
Evil Willie went to kiss her on the part he likes the best
CHORUS
well, her eyes got big and buggy and her mouth was open wide
and when she pointed at it I very nearly died!
then she slapped me on the face with her 3-inch nail hand
poked her finger at me and said "You're a BAD man!"
CHORUS
My friends were all a laughin' and I felt like a fool
I tell you it ain't easy with an evil-minded tool
I guess I'll have to dance in a military tunic
One thing's for sure...I ain't no eunuch!
CHORUS AND FADE
Author notes
Written May 5th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Lyrical Fun by The Obsessioner.
300 points, ended May 6, 2006, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Nights With Alice Cooper by Alien She.
378 points, ended June 14, 2007, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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LMAO
that was awesome.
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Thanks! I was actually inspired by Frank Zappa for this one, but when I saw your contest, I remembered Alice Cooper's "muscle of love", and thought this would be a fitting tribute.
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haha, very funny.
thanx for entering and good luck
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this is just hilarious!
a fun read.
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LMAO - okay, so I'm glad I don't have one...
I'd much rather be a woman anyway! 
You're hilarious! 
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I would imagine the hard part would be convincing the girl you were dancing with that it was an accident. haha
Hilarious story! Thanks,
Mark -
Hahaha, this is pure genius! A total crack-up. I loved it
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Trying to compose myself as I can't stop laughing. This is just
toooo much. Great write and I love it. I must applaud this one
for sure. keep up the good work Evil Willie, lol. -
funny
LOL thats very clever. Funny
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hahahahaha, you spelt pointed wrong. get my one criticism outta the way cos the rest of it was pure gold!
hahha
I saw the title of this and I so hoped that it would be humour, and it was, and that made me giggle, then i saw it was erotica and lyrics and i thought by gum i have to click this.
and it was tres amusant. I mean really. haha. I actually laughed out really loud at one point, I'll go and find that point hold on :|
haha ahhh it was the first chorus, its genius! The whole thing. I imagine your... member to be this evil little cyclops tryna kiss miss D cups.. special place. hah.
good piece here, well done
Jadey xXxXx
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Damn that one-eyed trouser snake! I am guessing many of us can relate to the story told here... In line 3, are you missing a "was"? Good job here.
Scott
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this is just hilarious,
so funny so very funny,
oh to be a man eh? no secrets in that department,
a great write,
very funny
lisa x -
This is just way too cute. It reminded me of a funny incident I witnessed in the record store one day. This gentleman was trying to be amorous with his wife/girlfriend and while she was bent over looking at CD's, he kept stepping forward and rubbing himself against her behind. She was so into looking at the music that she was oblivious to what was going on. Suddenly, she apparently found the one she was looking for because she stepped back in one quick jerky movement...stepping on the guys toes in the process and shoving her bottom quite roughly into his groin. He stood up with his hands placed strategically in front of himself, but it was quite obvious he had made a big SPLAT!!
Edited on May 06, 11:12 because ''. -
hahahahaheeehheee. That was really funny.. I'm gonna reccommend the read to some friends...
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Funny Funny
Very funny. It's great. I'm sure this same thing has happened to other guys, I know my boyfriend almost had an interesting experience getting fitted for a tux. I laughed long and hard.
~>Tu Leona<~ -
nice, I miss your kinkiness I am how do you say in a bind hahaha, good luck in he contest, and yep I am all ears!
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haahaa i like it.. kind of feel sorry for thoses 3 inch nails must of hrut....
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