by Gregg Rowe
Flight of stairs
Door creaks open
Light spills unto darkened floor
Shadow slithers in.
Pitch black room
Scratches on a window
Purposely painted black.
Dim light escapes
Shines upon a busy city street
Bottled beers sit on empty barrels.
Flick of sulphur
A cigarette lit
Shadows cover the corner
Of a blackened wall.
Silhouettes dance
Moving mouths on phallic fossils
As the shadows move
To embrace ecstasy
Heated mouths on
Jutted poles
Protruding from blue jeans
Bursting ball crotches.
My silhouette dances
Connects
An orchestra of moans
Fills the backroom.
Shadows dance
Copulate
Button up jeans
Bottled beer picked up off barrel.
Flick of sulphur
Door creaks open
Light spills unto darkened floor
Shadow slithers out.
Disco music pounds
Reverts through my spent body
Breath freshener beer gulped
Washes down
Sticky semen sticking
To the back of my throat.
Shadows congregate
On a busy dimly lit Ottawa street
Two o'clock in the morning
Search the cold cement
For the recognition of shoes
I got a glimpse of while
On my knees.
Head back to the hotel room
Still single.
Author notes
5. DEEP DARK SECRET OR HARDEST CONFESSION.
Who did you tell? I want details.
Written May 4th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Eternal Nights by DarkangelMHB.
300 points, ended December 15, 2004, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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~a-crazed-hobo~ BOTH
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I applaud!
I love your repetition of words describing how dark it is, which sets the mood for the intense, backroom eroticism you paint. I don't know whether to be turned on or frightened, but I guess that's a tell-tale sign of a good poem. ;-) -
cool description I liked it a lot
hotone -
good luck in the contest (forgot to tell you in my previous comment), DARK.
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ok... I will put it short.. this is great, giving a strong snapshot of a night
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in the DARK of night will be the things that go unnoticed. passion or lust will be drawn from the shadows to fulfill any given moment of desire. yet, the night fades away into the dawn leaving a feeling of loneliness from being single.
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*NOTE TO SELF: kick magik ninjas ass*
g-d knows i'm butch enough haha
anyway... this was a great poem, i loved the chaotic carefree nature of it, the way it leaves you longing for a "part 2" if you will. The whole story just flowed really well.
good work
julie -
This was very well done. I liked the way you formated it. You left just enough to the imagination. Yet you didn't leave us totally hanging. I loved it. Thanks for entering.
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Fantastic
Extremely well written. I very much enjoyed this read. The short lines and vague descriptions give it so much life. Anyway. I've said enough. I suffer from foot in mouth disease and had best watch what I say.
~Bezoar -
Excellent
It was just sad you went to the hotel alone, other then that this is just WOW!! Very intense, felt like I was there. Excellent write my friend...
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it never occured to me to question gender issues, and i don't see how that makes the slightest difference in how this poem affects me. the last line damn near brought tears to my eyes, and the rhythm in this piece far surpasses any need to rhyme. your use of imagery is electric, the shadows, the darkness, the only light from a lit cigarette, all paints a scary real life picture. you are obviously a very talented word painter, i will most definetely be reading your other work. best of luck in this contest! (not that you need luck with a poem like this!)
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I really don't care what kind of sexual preference it was wrote for..It is an awesome write..I enjoyed it very much Greg..AP should be a place to express yourself freely... Not be badgered for your poetry..Write what you want..This piece is wonderful..It flows beautiful and it is just great all around..It is a perfect poem...Thank you for sharing this amazing write with us all and I wish you the best of luck in the contest...Much love
Bambie -
I don’t know if the words i choose will come out right in this but i’ll try, i don’t rehearse my comments anymore, especially not on a poem of this quality and strength . i am really impressed with the intensity and erotic nature in this. i don’t have an issue with the content as my heart and mind have always been at odds with each other. The universe is too big for arguments over matters of the heart anyway. The sense of darkness and shadow is what impresses me the most here. The clandestine nature and hidden tone with words like silhouettes, shadows, door creaks seem to pivot about the hinge of erotic intimacy. The need for something more lasting in the line “search the cold cement” brought chills and the ending is simply tragic. To be alone in any regard is tragic.
This is brilliantly written, in my opinion, and the content amazing. ~richard
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I normally don't enjoy homoerotica (is that the correct word?) but I really enjoyed this. The vibe was clear and very electric. So what if it doesn't rhyme? Who said great poetry had to rhyme? This is one of the best I've read from you so far! As with everyone else, I agree the comment made by Magik Ninja was out of line - most definitely uncalled for. This was fresh and exciting for me, the imagery was excellent - like I've said before, you have a way with words and I wish you the best of luck in this contest!
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2 Thumbs Up
I agree that the comment by Magik Ninja is out of line. I think that everyone is entitled to their opinion but I also feel that if you are going to speak your opinion that you should do it in a tactful and mature way. The above comment is crass and uncalled for.
As for the piece, I read it three times and loved it more each time. Yes, it's different. Yes, is does ooz a certain homosexual vibe but who the hell cares. It's a damn good piece of work. I'm impressed. It's raw and sad yet vibrantly sexual.
The shadow slithers in and shadow slithers out lines are remarkable! Easily taken literally as a person leaving and entering yet can be taken metaphorically as sexual and/or emotional penetration.
Great job!
M -
I really liked it. Apparently, not everyone is secure enough in their sexuality to appreciate things like this. *Glares at the homophobe* Your imagery was great, I could see the whole thing unfolding. You captured the essence of the one night stand so well here. A lusty, faceless encounter that is only satisfying on a physical level. Leaves you satisfied on one level, but in the end serves only to remind you of the lack of emotional satisfaction. Great write, Gregg.
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yuck
I'm sorry this particular piece just didn't do it for me, First off I didn't ryme and I like ryming poetry. Second off I'm not sure but this sounds like a homosexuals ramblings about a moment of homosexual heat, and thats just NASTY. Sorry this wasn't all that fresh to me. -
excellent writing
Survival is the lonliest of all jobs.
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