I suspend apolune,
lured by an aureate sky
and the lullaby you murmur
accapela in my ear.
Like wind through
the strings of an Aeolian harp -
your fingers strum
the undertones of my soul.
Andante pulse, you are my song.
Echoing the drumbeat of my heart.
The lyrics of your lullaby,
are written in the lifelines on my palm,
a patchwork of layers
that piece together an image of you.
Make me your song,
an instrument tuned
to encompass the wind,
to drink the smiling moon
bathing under waterfalls.
Compose an ancient verse,
with the motif of my soul,
while I lie shipwrecked
on your shoreline.
Make me your song,
because you are already
singing mine.
Tina Brannon
May 3rd 2004
Author notes
1). Apolune: point in the path of a body orbiting the moon that is farthest from the center of the moon.
2). Aureate: golden
3). Berceuse: lullaby
4). Acappela: without musical instruments
5). Andante: moderately slow, referred to in music usually
Written May 3rd, 2004
A contest entry
- Inspiration by RoseBlossom.
300 points, ended June 7, 2004, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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a pale, enchanting beauty.
good god. "your fingers strum
the undertones of my soul."
i think i need to quit writing, i knew i couldn't write when i came back here. *chuckles* anyway. this is just so soft, you can almost hear background music to it (mainly because of the musical vocabulary you used extensively, but still). granted, some of the more blunt words.. or just "apolune", almost threw me off, but the following verses just rocked me smoothly back in and it does truly ressemble a lullaby. beautiful in it's soft-spoken tones... -
to be your song is a dream
I was caught in this spell of a song , so lyrical and of an age of romance , how it has gone ,lovely and classical ,
"with the motif of my soul""while I lie shipwrecked"
love your geniality of words ,inspires me ..
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Lol... good thing you've done some defining, it could have proved intimidating for some Ap-ers
This is beautiful, every word seemed to flow right off the page, it's wonderful. I think the repetition really brought the piece to life, and you really seem to have a fabulous way with words. Great job, and never stop writing
~Smidge~ 
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There's an interesting shape to this poem.. I think it's a bit much that you needed to include definitions for the words you used, though. Let people look them up themselves. This is beautiful.
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I really loved. It made'my soul sing'. really I just loved this. I has such depth, while actually expressing such a simple sentiment: 'Ilove you, do you love me back? You're in my heart, let me into yours.' I hope I got it right. this was truly great. I just loved the imagery, it was so 'Aureate'. I loved this.
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Awww cute. Nice idea of making a song into an emotion. Interesting poem! thanks for commenting on my poem. And if you havn't already check out my sisters contest!
-cj -
Wow. Another unbeleivable piece. I especially loved the imagery in this poem was great.
Once again you build up your story really well.
You create the suspense you want to.
You have run-on lines that create anticipation evrytime and you live up to it giving the reader what he expects.
The story is really great and another fabulous ending.
This is really really great work. -
This is lovely and romantic. It reminds me of a "trip" I took years back when I was young and smoked a bit. He was the sun and I was the Earth orbiting him...The radiance was stunning. Like this poem!
~ Good luck. Joyce -
I wished to be a girls song for a long time and now I am. Id say this is a good description of love.
-J. -
Lovely write, musical almost although I did have to work hard to get past the first two lines. the second stanza was much more emotive.
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Very beautiful poem thankyou for entering!
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I thought that the whole thing was really great. The first stanza really annoyed me because it seemed a little fake and a bit pretentious. Essentially bercuse REALLY needs to go, it's the main perpetrator (sp?), accapella could stay if absolutely necessary, aureate is good there, no problem with that, apolune is iffy. Of course these are just my opinions.
I think however, that the rest of the piece is fantastic, especially this stellar stanza:
"Like wind through
the strings of an Aeolian harp -
your fingers strum
the undertones of my soul."
wow, just wow.
you are simply awe-inspiring.
loved it,
-Adam -
~smiles~ beautiful.
fallen. -
I like the last two parts, I didn't really care for the other parts above it, it seemed too much bunched up together, and it just didn't read well to me. I am sure others will think its great, I just don't care for it much. I'm not going to like everything, you know. (not asking you just saying).
So, for the last two parts - good. For the rest - no comment.
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