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Perfect Ride ***

Missing image
Riding my surfboard to catch a wave,
The perfect ride is what I crave.

My board all waxed, I'm ready to ride,
On my belly into the surf I glide.

I paddle out fast and watch the swells,
Any apprehension I quickly quell.

There's the one, it looks just right,
I position myself and stand up with all my might.

I feel so cool, I'm shreddin the waves,
The sea beckons to me, I am her slave.

That last wave was gnarly, crashed over my head,
Flattened me on the reef, miracle I'm not dead.

That was so cool, man what a score,
With my board I head back to shore.

Tomorrow I'll be back ready to glide,
Always in search of the perfect ride.

Author notes

Someday I want to try surfing, it looks like fun.

Written April 30th, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • squishe
    November 29, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, well alotta people like it and Im just one more I guess, amazin poem, loved the flow, thanks so much for enterin and good luck


  • Artemis Gem
    November 15, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    great job! i love the backround! it adds alot! Yeah surfing! awesome word pictures....you are the slave of the sea....well, i can see why... good luck in the contest! great write!!!!!!!
    Gem~chan

  • BabsBunnie
    November 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    yes, i figured to just by reading that you werent rly a surfer. ah well. the poem was good. the rythym was rly nice.


  • NeptunesMight
    July 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    yeah just by the poem i could tell you wernt a surfer but thats ok awsomeeee poem thou i thought the surfer slang was sorta over the edge heh but still quite funny i hope you do surf someday its my favorite sport

    jack


  • Pinkeye Pete
    May 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This is a cool poem. I hate freezing cold water so there is no way I'm going to try surfing the ocean in my area. Some put on wet suits and do it, but I'll stick with fishing. 45 degree water is to cold!


  • Dark-Princess
    May 3, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Narly~ Man! This was like~ Totally awesome dude~ ..lol.. This sounds like loads of fun.I tried it once(I sucked)...Good luck in the contest!
    Tammy33


  • May 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    surfs right across the poem - weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeee

    oops.

    must of been that there fish which took me down.


  • leecansing
    May 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Wow i've never read a poem about surfing but i'm sure none could compaire! Good luck in my sisters contest and thanks for commenting on my poem and coming to my page! i'll be sure to tell her you came!
    -cj


  • Chrissy Lee
    May 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This poem reminds me of a movie...just cant think of the name. It has Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves. This poem makes me feel like I am the one riding. Your poetry is very alive and active. Keep up the good work!!!


  • xXxThat GurlxXx
    May 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Queen~
    Hey! I thought that this was a really good poem. It was nicely written and it had a good flow to it as well. I have never surfed before either... Like were is there to surf around here. (lol) From this poem it sounds to me like you have surfed before. Keep writing and thank you for sharing this poem with all of us here.
    ~!~Manda~!~


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    May 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    ohhh hun, it is sooo fun. hard work though until you get used to it, but then the sense of freedom and being one with the waves is incredible as well hehehe. Another fine piece you've but here to brighten our days!!! Bravo!!!

  • Willow
    May 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I tried it in my younger days...always wiped out, but goodness what a rush it was. Now a days I just like to sit on the beach and watch the young ones have a go at it. You go out there and "hang ten" for me will ya?

    Hugs,
    Willow


  • queenie
    April 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    wonderful

    well it sure sounded like you were a skilled surfer in this write.you have a way of making everything you write about seem like a personal experience.i never grow tired of reading you because i never know what to expect.you are so versatile in your subject matter.i just love it.another race you are sure to place in.


  • BrownEyedAngel
    April 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I really like this it was well put, good puncuation, and I got a good mental image from the description. Keep up the good work.

  • RoughRider
    April 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    I was like this is so cool, made me feel like if you where and actual surfer, than I read you Author comments. I couldn't stop laughing. Great write, thank you for sharing and hope some day you will be able to surf. I am afraid of fish's in the water.


  • FifthDove
    April 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I love this poem Barb.
    >>>>>>
    Peek-a-boo
    Love ya
    me


  • fourth coming
    April 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    GREAT JOB ..........

    IT SOUNDS AWESOME LIKE A LOT OF FUN AND THE WORDS FLOW SO WELL
    ANOYHER GREAT JOB BARB AND I BET YOU WOULD MAKE A GREAT
    SURFER TOO

1 - 17 of 17