I've built up walls I know survive
They're the only things that keep me alive
When all around me reminds me of the past
They're the only things that hold to the last
And still, it hurts so much inside
My will is beyond a stubborn pride
If these walls in me cannot remain
Then what will stand to hold back the pain?
If these walls I built fall and break
Then what will be there to stop the heartache?
I've been waiting for the blows to come
I've felt the wounds and have seen it done
But no matter how tightly I close my eyes
I shatter within until I'm what I despise
Hold out a hand for me
Before I break free
Pull me closer now
Before the walls fall down
I've known the hate and bitter fears
I block the taunts and refuse the tears
I know my enemies and the lies they weave
So I close my eyes and learn to breathe
But still, it hurts so much inside
My will knows hope has been denied
And I cannot forget the scars
When they're burned into my heart
And if I cry
If I let the tears fall
If I scream out loud
And if you see it all...
If I'm broken,
If I cease to breathe...
If I call you,
Will you reach back for me?
If these walls in me cannot remain
Will you stay with me to hold back the pain?
If these walls I built fall and break
Will you be there to stop the heartache?
Hold out a hand for me,
Before I break free
Pull me closer now,
Before the walls fall down
Hold out a hope for me,
Before I fall free
Pull me closer now,
Before my walls come crashing down...
Author notes
Woah. Out of nowhere, my muse kicked my in the ass and was like "pen! paper! quick!" Of course, my muse doesn't know me too well because I never produce anything on pen and paper, and have instead spent the last few minutes typing furiously. I've repeated a stanza or two, which is strange for me. But for the first time I'm just going to post it without looking it over because it's not often that my muse appears. So please excuse any errors...
Written April 28th, 2004
A contest entry
- I whip myself for following by cocolocoblondie.
319 points, ended May 9, 2004, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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glad you put the phrase in there. well, I enjoyed reading this one, though a few lines seemed a bit forced. Anyway, great write (and tell your muse I said hi,lol). -
COOLIE
WOW! I CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO THIS POEM. keep up the great work. -
Great write! Poems are always alot better, when you just kind of scribble them down without a thought, more from the heart to your fingers.. I truly loved this write, you put your words nicely, and I like the repeated stanza!!!
Good write, and good luck in contest
Chels -
Truly WOWing
Truly I found this very heart wrenching, mostly being able to relate so well I guess... which is totally understandable. I'm not really a big fan of things that rhyme, but in all honesty you did a more than perfect job capturing the very essence of helplessness and portraying it in a unique way that I found so empowering and mind blowing. You really make this yiddish proverb fit well, Those who cannot endure the bad will never live to see the good... Think about it. Thanks for sharing though it may be a prewrite... Good luck with placing in the contest... Take care of yourself and keep on penning... Always ~Star -
my definate fav line "close my eyes and learn to breathe"
That to me says so much.
What a wonderful poem you have created, it is full of heart felt raw emotion, and you have expressed it so vividly!! Well done and keep up the inspired writing!!
Abbie
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Very good flow you had with this piece... hard to do that with a poem that rhymes so much, but all of your rhymes worked very well together and the whole thing flowed very naturally. Seemed almost lyrical to me... Anyway, nice write
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Wow..this was quite excellent. Very well written. The rhyming was good and it flowed nicely. Good luck in placing in the contest. Thanks for sharing your talent. Keep up the excellent work. Take it easy now. :-)
<3,
Alison -
the chord of my sunrise :-P Since this was a prewrite...
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"But no matter how tightly I close my eyes
I shatter within until I'm what I despise"
And you told me I have a way with my words... wow... this poem is really, amazing. I absolutely love it. it's beautiful. -
"I've known the hate and bitter fears
I block the taunts and refuse the tears
I know my enemies and the lies they weave
So I close my eyes and learn to breathe"
gorgeous. absolutely gorgeous! you've REALLY outdone yourself this time kaitlyn, you truly have. i just...well...and...i can't say anything, it's just so pretty. minus the few questionable rhymes that actually do work just seem a little fishy, this is perfection. that's all i've got to say. i'm SO incredibly jealous of you! i wish i could write like that!
---michelle
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