Discarded trash
Nothing to gain
My life filled with pain
until you
You gave me some value
Made me believe
For the first time
hope infiltrates my heart
Who knew
Where this would lead
Side by side we set out to learn
until she came
Who knew
That you'd make my soul bleed
Abandoning me
broken and battered
on dirty knees
You held me high
And I lived
Now leave my corpse alone
Author notes
Bronze trophy in holeintheworld6's contest allpoetry.com/Contest/583463
Written April 24th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Hidden Thoughts by the atlantic.
300 points, ended April 25, 2004, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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I really do like this piece.
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Yeah, I dig this. Believe it or not, I just came through a similar experience: You know, the "who knew where this would lead...you made my soul bleed" part.
As for the broken and battered on dirty knees, this is where Cisco would normally make one of his snide dirty remarks. Instead I'll just philosophize: It's not how many times you get knocked in the dirt that matters. It's how many times you get get back up.
Damn fine poem!
~ Cisco
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What a bastard lol. Congrats on ANOTHER trophy damn woman you're good
...very powerful...your last lines always grab the reader by the throat...go for the jugular! 
Great job (as always!)
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Wow. Amazing as always I really liked the ending....so sad.
I really liked the background too!
Congrats on another trophy!!! You so deserve it!
Peace and love
Susan
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great piece! its very powerful! well done! ~lulu~
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This is wonderful, congratulations on your win Cheryl
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Nice
very nice write...
ps I WIN! -
Such powerful sadness... I've been there. Just when it seems as if life could not get any better, something always seems to shock us back into reality by kicking us in the face. I liked the ending... It's an interesting perspective.
Very nice write.
Dragonfly -
This is so powerful.... I'm speechless
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Wow. Great write. It's a little short, maybe, but very emotional and I really like it. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading this. Keep it up, and best luck to you in the future.
~Miranda -
Great poem. I loved it and the side banner is awesome. Great job!
~Kristie -
great poem..i agree i love your background...and i loved how you split it up...great write...keep it coming
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You always put such emotion into everything that you write, but some how it always comes out GREAT..It flows so easy and was a pleasure to read..Yes dark, but another wonderful write whisper...Keep up the poems..I love reading everything by you...The bestest best of luck in the contest...
Bambie -
i really like how this poem does a full circle...or no, not a circle, b/c you seem worse off in the end. anyway i like this poem, i like how you're accepting your true feelings and letting them out, i like this.
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this fucken rocks and i love your background
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You really brought those underlying feelings to the surface. Most times we would rather keep them "hidden" and not deal with them at all. Take a deep breath, then exhale, for you really let it out with this poem. Very nicely penned. I like how you rhymed within the lines. Excellent background and border to compliment your words. Great job! Good luck with the contest.
Renee
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A very well written piece mate. Alot of pain within this one, sometimes people put ya so far up on a pedestal that when you fall it is a long way down to the ground and the impact can be life shattering. A good piece.
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Very good, dark and lovely. I especially like the last line. I like the way it has hope, only to be dashed back down. I can relate. Now, can I get a witness? Good work. Good luck in the contest.
Jill -
Wow...Hope you win the contest. I like this even if it's really sad. Keep writing.
superswoman -
dark, but beautiful and filled with emotion. I can actually feel your pain... awesome job, thanks for sharing and keep up the good work. Good luck in the contest!
~Autumn
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This one brought tears to my eyes, so sad. Not sure what to comment on it, because it evoked such emotion in me. So better left alone, I guess. Good write. Keep writing, it will help you get through the hard stuff, and remember the good stuff in the future.
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Very sad, indeed. And nicely written. I really was left with a vivid picture and a strong feeling of empathy.
Scott
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Great poem...full of emotion...well done, thanks for sharing
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these is really dark. I like it though. I actually felt alone and helpless. I guess that's the emotion that you were trying to get across. Good Job keep it up.
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1 - 24 of 24
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