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Your Mind
a still pond of lilies
breathes perfume
Your Heart
a lone dove calling
from darkened
eaves
*
.
Author notes
♥
(A variation on a theme of...Haiku)
A Call Return. . .
in this Shining gift from Myrataal...
. . . * . . .
Your Soul
A shimmering star
pulsating
its yearning
Myra
25-04-2004
Written April 20th, 2004
In a list
- Love (Personal~Spiritual) • next in list
- Mystic Haiku (contemporary) • next in list
- Assorted Allusions • next in list
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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Awwww this was so precious I loved it...this is one of my favorite ones!
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Then hers is a perfect echo of yours!
It feels good to inspire others, doesn't it?
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Thanks, zt Actually, Myra's was inspired by mine, she wrote hers as a response
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It is often in these darkened eaves where we find nesting doves. They build their homes there as people build homes for themselves within their own hearts. This/these are perfect echoes of the poem by Myra. Nicely done...
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wow..very powerful. there's just so much passion here packed into a short, calm package. beautiful. just gorgeous
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that is a beautiful it has not that many words but says a lot in the time.can u please check out some of mine.beautiful poem again.
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Gives a sense of a reflection in a still dark pool. The lotus graphic and visual presentation help complete the illusion. Eternal truths wispered in the ear in the still of the night, by a silent source. Most enchanting.
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Thank you for your comment and applause, Tiffani! Both are very much appreciated.
~G
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Wow, this is so beautiful and way advanced beyond my knowledge! I can only compliment you on your ability to put the beauty into poetry. Excellent!
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I am very familiar with haiku 'rules' and traditions, as well as haikumonk's authoritative expertise. He has actually advised me to add articles before, since haiku are meant to sound natural when spoken .
As Basho said, "Learn the rules, and then forget them"
~G
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Not really! I think 'a' and 'the' were usually avoided in haikus. I had heard that from many poets including haiku monk. Here, the sentences would sound beautiful without the article too.
Anyway, that's not compulsury. It's fine eitherways, but I usually prefer it without the articles. -
Thank you for your comments. As stated in my notes, it is a 'variation on a theme of' haiku. Also, there is no hard rule about the layout of haiku, which can also be written as one single line. The layout was not intended to resemble anything as a 'concrete' form, or calligramme, but simply for visual symmetry.
Removing the article would only make the sentences stilted and unnatural.
~G
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It would read much better if you'd strike out the 'a' before each stanza. The visual was interesting but why did you break the second stanza into 5 lines if it was a haiku?
And if was done to make it concrete, I still don't follow the shape. Looks somewhat like a humming bird but just somewhat..
Nice images anyway! -
Relaxing indeed. (smile)
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This was wonderful! I have read a lot about the mind getting absorbed in useless chatter, but this poem has a refreshing in sight. The same mind, when still, will 'breathe perfume.' The words you have used are the best to describe it.
I just sit in awe, and read this, again and again!
Regards,
Saurabh. -
Thank you, again, Tom! This is one you commented on in April (see above). Good to hear from you, I've missed you.
~ G
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imprisoned by a pond of beauty
Bows ~ breathtaking !!!And so it goes ~ emerging always emerging ,a wounded prisoner ,chained in visible tears ~some cry a river and some cry a beautiful pond >>O/M/G shut me up !! Wonderful job >> love your work ~G~ "A lone dove calling" too sad ~"Only those return to eternity ,who on earth seek out eternity" (K G.) I think >> ??? happy smiles ,sweet lady ~~~Skinwalker
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Eau de vie
Stunning beauty I am left breathless
Your white beauty I rarely see
Namaste Blessed Be..
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such elegance in your style and words.
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Thank you Zee What a lovely compliment!
Love,
~ G
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This was lovely. I love the way it is so visual. You have a lot of talent and I'm awfully glad you posted it on the reading list. It's really very beautiful. zee
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Thank you, for the applause also, OTEdGe! Why would I take offence? that was a lovely compliment...it must be soothing, I'm really pleased you felt that way.
~ Maatkara
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That was relaxing to read.... no offense or anything. It was great. I loved it!
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respect ,humility and sorrow ~ the poet
Friendly wings of night
our souls ascend rocky paths
twisting the garment
in trembling hearts beneath
the strange song of lonesome doves
I had the vision
Sweet songs of earth ~the method
unbound poetry
"Your Soul
A shimmering star
pulsating
its yearning"
A lovely poem and comment Myra ,,sorry ~,~I had to pen my feelings
on your" Hear Now"
before they gather dust~ waving from Sc. ~ your pal Skinwalker -
Myra ~ I'll repeat the link for you here (deactivated in edit?)
allpoetry.com/Poem/602229
Thank you
~ G
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My words are yours. http://allpoetry.com/poem/602229#
Edited on Apr 25, 11:37 p.m. because 'Adding ...'.
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Perfectly Lovely!
I would Love to include yours in my Author's Comments as a Call Return...with your permission, approval or further suggestion...?
Thank you.
Love & Light,
~ Gennelle
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I tried ... but not nearly as excellent as your jewels.
Myra
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Your Soul
A shimmering star
pulsating
its yearning
myra
26.04.2004 -
Thank you Susan If my words here had come only halfway to what you say they have for you, I couldn't ask for more...I am blessed by your response; thank you for sharing that with me, in the truest sense
Love & light,
~ Gennelle
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I feel a need to turn everything off and just be after reading this... It is pure serenity. There is such a softness in your words.
I know you hate this phrase, but truly thank you for sharing this moment of peace with me.
Susan -
oh so lovely!
It is very calming....I loved the image that you described! Haiku/Senryu should leave the reader with a feeling of zen. I think one is there after reading this!
Wonderful job!
Peace and love
Susan
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Thanks, I don't feel so ignorant! This is very calming, it could be a mantra. Before I wasn't sure that my mind was like a lily pond, but I can get used to the idea.
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Hey, I just made it up , (in the layout)...that's why I called this 'style' a 'variation on a theme of'. It's personal/spiritual, so not quite haiku; not senryu....ah who cares I'm glad you could see more than one (or two) perspectives...that's the intention
~ G
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Gorgeous
I don't know enough about oriental poetry to comment!
Your images are strongly drawn. I think that the emotional content will be quite individual, because I have two or three feelings by myself.
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