Cocaine drip the focus
Slips, and knows us
time bent
damaged
heaven sent
ravaged
seems of your soul
cracked and scarred
locked and barred
all access was
denied
and your life was cold
Cocaine frees the mind
sees us, and blinds
time spent
forgotten
hell bent
and rotten
as your soul
dislodged itself
your body fell
silently
and
fa
de
d
.
Author notes
sorry i couldn't write a new piece for thsi contest, i've been extremely busy with work, and just wanted to atleast enter soemthing, so again sorry.
Written April 19th, 2004
A contest entry
- a return to poetry: round two by .
500 points, ended July 10, 2005, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Addiction♥ by angelcalled666.
600 points, ended July 5, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Drugs... by Coffer.
300 points, ended October 2, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Free Verse by Lithium n lollipops.
750 points, ended January 1, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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really powerful..and i'm sure anyone who's ever been around/done coke can relate
-
"Cocaine frees the mind
sees us, and blinds"
So true cocaine does blind you from many things.
Great lines.
I really enjoyed this piece. It was on the short side but still so powerful.
Thankyou for entering.
-
A great work that captures the essence of cocaine and it's destructive potential.
I have known it to be a two faced angel that will do you in every time, and you seemed to capture just how that can happen.
Great job letting others know how it may seem beautiful and seductive, but will eventually turn on you and make you pay in the long run.
Thanks for entering, and best of luck.
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thank you for the entry doll.
Good luck♥ -
it seems like u describe the experience with experience if u know what i mean well done ånd thanks for entering
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seems should be "seams"
the form and presentation of this capts and exemplifies your poetic goal. I think this was marvelous and indeed an excellent entry. I don't care if something is a prewrite or not, writing is writing- although prewrites tend to get more attention that newwrites over a period of time, and eventually newwrites become prewrites- and some poetry, newwrites are old reads as there is little variety in execution or subject matter. lucky for you this is not the case
i enjoyed the breaking and seperation repeating iteself...excellent transition too
and if roses are an allergy, synthesize and have digital artificial trose
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the form in this one was just great. the disjointed feel of the form adds to the message of the poem...it's very dreamlike yet blunt.
one thing: "seems of your soul"
maybe should be "seams"? I see how "seems" works as well, but I don't know which type you meant in this poem.
nice job. -
I've never actually done cocaine...but I was shocked at how beautifully you displayed the feeling of the effect cocaine has on someone. This piece was very well written, and really descriptive. So many people try to find ways to escape or "dislodge" your soul from you body and there are so many different ways people do it. Some cut, some drink, some do drugs. I suppose this is just one way, but it is certainly a feeling so many people have so thank you for sharing.
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this is very true and real. I can tell you're REALLY pro drugs and that's alright. Whatever makes you happy. I hate people who judge. Here, in this poem, I can get a really good idea to why people do it. job well done
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nice, very cool. reminded me, of a movie I watched were this chic is fricken Od-ing on heroin, but she thought it was coke...but I liked the part, "heaven sent, ravaged".
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this is really good i love it and keep up the good wrok love ya miranda
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good
This is so true.I have experienced first hand what this drug can do to a person and their family. It is well written and described well. keep up the good work. -
nice
holy $h!t man. this is completely unbeliveable. i absoultley love it! like seriously, i think this may be the best poem i ahve seen on the site. really, really, nice. takes you on a trip (no pun intended). -
i liked the piece..very emotional
I did NOT like who the words were all squiggly..it hurt my eyes
I liked the "hell bent and rotten part"
Very creative
-Samantha
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i love this piece write here...it really speaks to me alot. it's so hard hitting and emotional. great write, great style. thank you so much for sharing this in my contest. good luck.
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this poems really sad. i was just watching pulp fiction, so this is kinda relivant. its really good i like how u wrote fadded at the end, its like it really is fading out...
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wow... damn you BEAT me to the punch.. i'm working on one for this... wow you blow me away... so much power in your words flotsi... you ROCK... missed you and I'm so glad you're back- AMAZING poem!
trin
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