I
don't really mean
to gripe here unbidden,
but
it's not a "great write"
it's 'well written'
Don't thank me for "sharing"
I ain't
I'm simply showing
what I've come to know an'
as for gettin' a piece o' my cake
you ain't
"Nice write", so trite, and "keep writin'"
without thought are demeaning
and quite overweening
If you think that they're 'praising'
they ain't
If you'd call yourselves poets
it's a shame you won't show it
when writing "critiques" for a point
'cause the point is, that
they ain't
What you need to be gettin'
(Now, there's no need for fetchin'!)
is what has been called a
v o c a b u l a r y
All the words you can find
(and it won't make you blind)
are found in a book labelled
'Dictionary', and yes
even 'ain't'
If you're pierced by my pique
and complainin'
Just put it all down
to my trainin'
It's quaint:
If you aspire to right
at least get it write
an' if you don't know what's trite
there's no point in my
further explainin'
I'll faint!
Author notes
This was first inspired by a column I read some time ago by Dericlee, "Critical Scripture"
You can check it out at allpoetry.com/ Column/427500
This is humour based on fact... 
~ Before you give someone a piece of your mind, make sure you can get by with what's left ~
OK, I think I think I'm ready...fire away 
Written April 19th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 74 of 74
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Excellent summry of the opinions
of those who are truly interested in other people's poetry and not just adding to comment numbers. My feelings on receiving one of these thoughtless comments is "Don't waste my time with blather, I wish I could detract points for the insult." It's like leaving a penny tip for a waitress. Apt title, good line brakes, I enjoy the effective use of slang. Like (as in) you ain't kidd'in around with the irony. What really dumnfounds me is that one would try to write poetry wothout having command of the language. Such conciet!
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Sometimes the remarks left
are really quite patronizing
and the lure of points gained
are to some rather appetizing
So I ain’t going to tell you
it’s a great write
and I surely won’t
thank you for sharing
but I’ll tell you I did enjoy reading
if I may be so daring
Thank you for entering and best of luck in the contest!
~carol
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Good Luck!
This was a hoot I loved it 
I sooo agree Best of luck to you in the contest!
Kari -
Well, I think you are saying what I say (albeit marginally more tactfully).....
There's no point in commenting "Gee Wow! Great Write Man! Wow LOL 
: kepp on writin'! Oh yeah kewl, great flow."
But apparently bluntness is too far.
And there ain't anything wrong with ain't. It has quite an aristocratic parentage. Just like me. -
To Lyndon:
LMBO!!
Now, not many would appreciate the skill and concentration it took for you to write that comment..
It is truly inspired satire at its literary finest!
-
Cool drule
Well, well, well, it floes smoothlike an sumwho gets a cross what yuo meen. I meen hehehe that you aint got nuttin lady on me. Like - um well it does floe funny like an fast like an its lotsa things said togetherr. Infact, its actkully great !
I'm simply showing
what I've come to know an'
as for gettin' a piece o' my cake
you ain't
Yeh I like this peace cos I luvcake
(This is the mos I hav sed for any one yet cos I like it. )
An this is awsome - If you aspire to right
at least get it write
an' if you don't know what's trite
there's no point in my
further explainin'
Dunno how you do it but pleas dont faint. Lynettedon. -
To Pome:
Thank you! But I still ain't 'sharing' 
Did you click 'Show All' for the earlier comments? Some of those are even funnier
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Thanks for entering the contest Maatkara. I enjoy reading your witty response to critques. Good Luck. And of course, thanks for sharing.
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To Topaz135:
Smart Alec!
Vescere bracis meis!
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great write
shame about the rocky punctuation
he he he he
Enjoyed it.
Keep writting
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Good job, keep it up!
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LMAO...Genelle...you are so write~on!!! LOL I don't know how many poems I've gotten similar comments on...enough to drive me batty, I know...Or the ever~useful: 'Could be better'...ok...tell me how??? I might just listen!!! Then I go check out their poems &...oy vey...fogeddaboudit!!! Very well done, my Friend...
GOOD WRITE...hehehe 
♥ Wanda
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Even better to annoy you with hm guess I better give up. Haven't succeeded yet. But now that you are on this power thingy maybe.....hmm.....thinking....
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To Duana:
Heh! I'm talkin' about trite comments... the poems are another matter.
-
But what if you like to write about trite, just to annoy people like you
Geeze we are rivals. I wouldn't have guessed. This is getting serious. -
No, no, let me think, what is the word...dictionary,... oh, oh yeah, here it is.... G R E A T! Thanks for entering Maatkara, and who am I to say, it's grande. All the best and thanks for entering! Ann
Edited on Feb 07, 8:06 p.m. because ''. -
Why do you put in your two cents, but it's only a penny for your thoughts? Someone's making a penny. - George Carlin
Sometimes I take issue with the comments I receive, sometimes I rant (in private), and sometimes I "forget" to return the favour. There are all sorts of ways to respond to these circumstances, and I appreciate your witty one.
I read this before, I applaud you again.
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To Michael 54:
Thanks! Haha! There is no way I would use a word or homonym without good reason!
If you click "Show All" comments you will see some very funny exchanges earlier on that subject (amongst others).
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Cute
Cute, I like it. Last stanza, I think you have write and right in the wrong lines unless this is part of your pun. Take care and thanks fo the entry.
Michael -
To LongRoadHome:
LMAO! That's about the size of it!
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OH MY!!!! What a GREAT write!!! This is just such a nice write I got goosebumps. Thanks *so* much for sharing, and keep writing girl!
P.S. I hope you don't mind, I left 37 prewrites in your contest and hope you can see through to commenting on every one as well as considering me for the gold or at least a silver cause I deserve WAYYY better than a bronze.
oh yes, and...
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To Myfanwy:
On the contrary, Steph, from what I've read of your comments on poets' work, you have not committed the 'sins' lampooned here.
Brevity with comprehension is perfectly acceptable.
Being new you have not had much exposure to the 'parrot posters'...
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Informative
You're right Gennelle, I do like this a lot. I do feel a wee bit guilty after reading it though. Being new to AP and also to the idea of critiquing other people's work, I'm still feeling my way around and falling into obvious traps. Some of it is laziness due to the fact I usually type with one hand whilst feeding the baby (as now), and thought that a positive comment, even a short one, would put a smile on someone's face. I can now see that in some cases I was actually doing the opposite of what I intended so thank you for bringing that to my attention. I'll definitely put more thought into my comments in future. -
roflmao!!! Definitely, this poem deserves 'Brava'!!! Just last night, someone decided to join up & make nasty comments to various people, including me...his comment? 'your ugly' Of course, I left him a diplomatic message saying 'YOU'RE (note spelling & proper punctuation?) unkind!' Then, I inquired as to the absence of any poems on his author's page...I asked him if he was scared!!! Eloquent & elegant, Maatkara...you get 'em, Honey!!! LOL sustained applause 
Wanda
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LMAO! Dude, NOW you know why I decided to hold this contest of mine, lol. And yeah, can I get an AWOMAN 'n the house for this one??! lol Very very charming and utterly spot-on, I am very impressed by this verbal pique and rise to my feet in estatic applause!
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LOL. I loved this. Probably the one I like best out of all your entries in this contest. Creative word choice... you don't stick with conventional phrases, so you get kudos for that. This seems like it would be a great "slam" piece, a kind of in-your-face write, which I appreciate. I don't think you can refine a piece like this, simply because it flows better without further editing or any of that. So yeah, good write here.
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nothing is funnier than the truth and the truth will not hesitate to bite anyone in the ass (like me) im pretty new and man you just stepped all over my toes. but thats cool im glad you did
i have been a little shortworded myself (mainly i just dont want to offend people) and i try to be nice but i havent done it to much and i will definatley remember you and your poem everytime i tell anyone anything from now on. so would you prefer nice write or highly intelligent literary work. you decide -
amen
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i think the one that gets me most is 'thanks for sharing'. it hits me as a very patronizing phrase. when i leave a comment i always try to say what i feel about the piece in the nicest way possible. there are times i do confess that i am short on words and at rare times i will leave without a word. you did make me chuckle with this and i found it very creative and also very true.
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Thanks Deja Vu
You can't get much further 'south' than where I'm from, Australia, hehe! Actually, as one of the commenters noted, some of the comments were more hilarious.
In reference to 'ain't', here's my reply to Virginia In Full who thought that was incorrect -
P.S., Virginia, to be pedantic (which I am), the word 'ain't' is not necessarily improper English. When it is used in it's proper sense as a contraction of 'were not', 'ain't' is correct. The use of 'ain't' as a contraction of 'am not' is only in slang and jocular use. If you look you'll find some were used correctly.
-
excellent
Ahahahaha... Oh, I think I love you. Every allpoetry poet needs to read this. You're going on my 'considering for the winners' list Very very well written, (even your "aint's" which amused me... it felt so... south to me ) I'm glad you entered this.
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very unique
love this piece anda yes i do agree, read my "definition of a hero" and you will see our thoughts flow the same...good luck in the contest and you have earned my applause....freda -
to zt:
Thanks for the feedback.
Well, I have always thought "keep writing" was redundant, at the very least, and overweaning at worst. Obviously those given enough positive, and constructive, reviews will be encouraged to continue. (They have the 'writing bug' to begin with). It's the mindless parroting of the same phrases that gets stale.
I don't differentiate between "Personal" categories and others. To me, most of what I write is 'personal' to some degree (probably for most people). So, if one has clicked "critical review is invited", that is what one is asking for. It is up to the 'reviewer' to word it appropriately. I'm sure most can understand that grammatical, spelling or structural corrections are not 'personal' criticisms.
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I agree with you about the folks that don't really take the time to give decent feedback (whether good, bad or indifferent). Trite as it may be, I sometimes do say "Keep writing" and really do mean it. The more poets & writers read and the more they write, the more they will likely improve their craft. I will also admit to leaving unspecific comments along the lines of "Nicely put" on some poems. Aside from grammar & spelling, it's hard for me to be critical of poems in the Personal category for fear that the author will think it personal. I am critiquing your poem--not you! Neither here nor there. This was well written!
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Well I mean, who would believe it, people don't just leave little trite writes do they? Those tiny tyre threads that say 'Hey, I was here right!'
Me, it is a measure of how much you have 'read' the piece in front of you, little remarks mean little ACTUAL reading, more a case of 'So you clicked on random, so I'll return the favour'.
they say that poetry (especially modernist) takes time to understand but in this day of ATD that would seem a little further than can be expected of some readers, so what are we to do? Simplify? No Never! Never! Never! Hope I suppose. Anyway
I rambled (and got more points than 'a Well done keep writing')
Some good points made in a clever way.
Pb -
A delightful (and amusing) little poem you have written here, and completely true. What I dislike more than "good write, keep it up" is that not-so-rare form of comment that is completely fragmented. You know, the ones where you can't even begin to comprehend what the author was attempting to say? How annoying. Yes well, I think I'm babbling a little bit, but this is an excellent applause-worthy poem, you've written here. Great job.
Edited on Jun 26, 2:53 because ''. -
Just overlooked, sorry. ahee
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Bythe way, the comment section was almost as amusing to read as the poem itself!
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Okay, well seriously, what more can I add? This was the most hilarious poem I have read on here. Hilarious and intelligent! Humor with a point! How creative. You should teach a class on it! JK. No, this was very funny, and you made a point that every single person on AP should read. The funny thing is, is if they are doing it for the points- they are point defeating and self defeating...and I doubt I need to explain that. Great write! Your cleverness shines through once again!
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LOL!!
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nice write! keep writin!
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I have been caught doing this oh so many times...As jennylee pointed out sometimes its just polite, I just want to let the author know that "hey I enjoyed this". But whatever I write in the comment box is true. Your poem was enjoyable its good to laugh at yourself sometimes Thanks for the smile
peace and love
Susan
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But some of us are comment poor
and tickled pink right to the core.
With little lines that say "great write"
"your rhyme is good," "your meter tight."
To leave a blip, is just polite
but your poem was out of sight.
Jennifer -
wonderful
Reminds me of stewardesses and sales clerks whom do not look you in the eye when they say thank you. To them you are all ready gone.
I shall consider myself properly spanked. Your poem gets right to the point of writing comments simply for points sake and does so in a wonderfully humorous manner.
I can at least loan Dericlee applause for you.
John
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Of course, Whisper!
That is my point, that there are exceptions, the trick is knowing the difference and having heart. I was referring to those who use it as a 'stock' phrase, without thought or sincerity...you know the ones I mean. The best way not to be confused with the mindless hacks, is to come up with a more individual way to express the same sentiment. You will not only stand out from the rest, but your comment will be remembered.
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to dericlee:
Thank you kind sir!
Your applause is so appreciated...I owe you for the inspiration!
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Damn...I wish this thing would allow me to give you my other two applause for the day! this should be required reading for all 'hit-and-run' commentors!
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This makes a lot of valid points. There are a lot of times though, when I use thanks for sharing, and I honestly mean it, on a poem that is written by someone about being abused or something, they are sharing their experience and soul and hurt with us, and I mean it sincerely. It's not easy to share, and this website has been the only way for me to share my feelings. You do have a lot of valid points though. Great write, thanks for sharing (haha, ok, i was being funny... )
thank you
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Timely!
Tho the comment is much overdone, I loved it too.
Still chortling I am as I type,
this topic's so urgent it's ripe.
Wherever it's found
we need to expound
the flaw and cut out the tripe!
As for judgments of value, how you fake it
or if your right write finds a fighter
that tells us how far studies take it!
Faults say less about written than writer. --Dee
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dang forn'ers!
Now y'all out thar in Poetryland who feels you bin strapped an licked, an wrapped over the knuckles by this here Sheila... y'all git on down over to my corner and I'll take all them tacky, thoughtless comments y'all wanna throw at me - I can use all them strokes you wanna give - shoot! I ain't proud....!! Y'all are welcome ya hear?? -
*tries not to laugh*
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I do see your point, exuse the comment. only pun, intended.Haley27
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Gosh Haley! NO, really?!
You honestly don't think I could have done that on purpose? 
Btw, that's 'last stanza', 'first 2 lines'... you didn't have to count so far.
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Sorry, I didn't get to finish the comment. I had to go to the store. The only complain I have in line 37, should be "write and not right". And the same for line 38, should be "right and not write"Haley27
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Thanks itsjenn xo
I enjoyed your comment...hope you get a chance to read the Column I put the link to in my comment box. I have a response under that article also.
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Irony: You're poem is complaining about people who just give no brained, one word repsonses to poems just for the points, and the comment above mine did exactly that. lol. You can tell someone either didn't read the poem, or just didn't get it. Unless it was doing that on purpose to be funny. . .in which case ignore me.
I like the subtle sarcasm in your poem, it made me laugh. I'll have to admit, once in a while I do the occasional "good job, great write, loved it, beautiful, keep up the good work," but I try not to. This poem was funny, and I hope a few people read it and realize others can see through their cheap posts. -
to haley27:
Hehehe...should I be insulted?
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A great write. Haley27
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well..i get those critiques and comments all the time...but the ones i dislike the most are the ones that clearly show that they didnt read...it could be the darkest, most disturbing poem ever..and theyll say..beautiful..lovely...lol...but..i dont care what comments i get as long as i get what im giving...
i am a person who suffers from a littletono vocabulary...so..i dont guess i can say much about that one..lol
neways..good stuff...lol
(get my point? lol)
~*~blu~*~ -
Keep pennin' ;)
But what if it IS a great write, and the reader is indeed thankful that you've shared it, and she does really want you to keep penning because you are the brightest poetic star in the AP sky? rolling my eyes, first left then right
Pleeze Poet, have a heart.Zometimes ze Lady iz zoooooo zleepy! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Great write!
Myra -
What a great write, I am glad that you have chosen to share your immense talent with us. Keep pennin....
(Only cause I know you know this is not my norm)
I look forward to reading more or your creative writes....
Susan -
A PS, Virginia, to be pedantic (which I am) the word 'ain't' is not necessarily improper English. When it is used in it's proper sense as a contraction of 'were not', 'ain't' is correct. The use of 'ain't' as a contraction of 'am not' is only in slang and jocular use. If you look you'll find they were used correctly.
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To Virginia In Full:
Hi Virginia ~ I know it's easy to get into habits like that, but it's a good one to try to break
When you realize how it makes the recipient feel. I've added the link to the column on critiquing I mentioned in the Author's Comment Box. You don't have to have a PHD in anything to be considerate of others.
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to JustBubba:
Ha ha!
I like that "imaginary palate" of yours..."wright" on, my friend. Thanks Bubba, always appreciate your poetic praise..
I've now added the link to the column I mentioned in the Author's Comment box.
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Hehehe, still the silver penned wench you have always been! Clever use of irony and not too subtle sarcasm. This has a great deal of thought behind its creation and creates even more for the reader. Oh if only I could find the "wright" words. It was delightful to my imaginary palate!
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I used to write "keep writing" and quote the poem back to the individual...I still say, good job...oh well , not a healthy critique, but I don't have a phD in critiquing so whatever...I did enjoy your use of ain't as improper english and a suggestive for better usage of vocabulary to the public...I would be happy just to get any good job these days on my poems...
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to NeferMaatNetjer:
Thank you, Kurt
What more could I ask?
Actually, a simple 'I really liked this', or similar, can suffice. I did leave out another practice I've seen, 'cheating for points' i.e. copying and pasting verses from the poem with "I liked this part" etc. Not always easy to spot the subterfuge, 'cause it's flattering. I just laugh...if they liked it, they could say why to be more convincing!
Anyway, "articulate" is good.
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heh! I plead guilty to the aforementioned sins, but in my own defence there are times that I just cannot think of anything more insightful to say, but am expected to say something anyway. However, in your case I shall try to be more...um...articulate?
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Thank you so much, Addie
Hehehe! I liked your reference to them as "evil-doers"...but we can forgive 'em if they "change", though, can't we
You put those older, in years, than you to shame with your writing talents, dear heart!
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Spectacular
You are so right! I dote over this humorous collection of wonderful words, and you certainly make your point clear! It's so strong yet it's not of the worrisome type because it is such light-hearted. So I thank you for finally facing the evil-doers of "keep writing" and "such a good write"
~Addie -
Thanks Mari!
So glad you enjoyed it...I don't really mind a 'WOW' comment, it usually means they liked it, and are at a loss for words to say how much! I have been struck that way occasionally. So there are exceptions, even in the "great write" department (though very few, I should caveat!). I just have an aversion to hackneyed and imitated terms.
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Thank you, my poetic friend, I appreciate your perspicacity immensely
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I agree totally with your sentiment! I have left so many poems speechless, without commentary. Who really wants to know that I disliked their poem? If the poem is good I may point out spelling and grammar mistakes, except when they are deliberately done, as in this case. Your pique is contagious.
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This is such a great write! Keep writing! lol
Very amusing at its least! I so understand what you say here.
You did forget one thing, the WOW's comment, I've read few comments that were basicly written in WOW language.
Now, really this is very good write! (no lol's)
I'll not thank you for sharing this, but, I'll thank you for the laughs I had!
Mari
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