Sweetly, is your gaze upon me
Dark and deep; what do you see
In this, mere mortalness expressed
In this poor soul in flesh and cloth dressed?
Eyes like onyx swimming with things
Thoughts like silvered trout in streams
Of mind, my love, my perfect one
With one glance, I am undone.
Author notes
This, perhaps, is a bit old fashioned, a bit cliche`, even, but it occurred to me at the thought of 'onyx black'...and I had been reading quite a bit of Dickinson lately 
anyway, enjoy. Suggestions are welcome, so feel free to leave Constructive Criticism
A contest entry
- ~*Colours*~ by katik.
400 points, ended February 6, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me your impressions
Comments
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Kool poem =), its not cliche` at all, its short and sweet and has brilliant imigery and descriptive writing. thanks for entering my contest ,wonderful k.
byyyyyyyyyye k -
beautifull
i loved it..........great write!
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wow like,
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This is a terrific write and I really enjoyed reading it. You did very well with it, however I think in the title you meant Glance instead of Glace...typo probably, I do it all the time! Great write and keep on penning!
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