Survey

What is your name?
Break
What is your age?
18
What do you do for a living?
Take care of my Mother.
Why do you do what you do?
Because she is ill
Do you like your occupation?
It has it's moments
Do you like to reveal the things about you that make you human?
Not really.
What makes you human?
By definition, Human, is simple.  By practice being a human is hard. I have flaws, I make mistakes.  I pick fights, and I can be real fake.
Where do you wish you were right now?
Washingtion State
Are you happy?
No
Why?
Lies have taken my feeling and emotions away, they are locked it a box that hangs over my heart.  I can't unlock it, because what is inside is to dark to let out.
Do you think much?
All the time.
Do you look away when people catch you looking at them?
Nope.
Do you have any fears?
Yes
What makes you have these fears?
My past
What is your worst memory?
Hearing my best friend kill himself, knowing that my lies pushed him there.
Is there pain inside you?
Absolutly
Are you insecure?
Not really, but in some ways yes.
Who do you hate or who have you hated?
I have hated myself, and the people who hate me.  I hate people who hurt my family.
Why?
Because of what I have done, what I have caused.  The people who hate me do not deserve pity, and as for the people who hurt my family, that is self-explained
Are you forgiving?
Yes
When was a time when you felt unforgiven?
I helped someone who hurt me stay away from someone who loves me.
When was a time you regretted something?
I regret telling 'HIM' that I didn't want him, that I couldn't trust him enough to love him.
What is it about yourself that caused you to do something you regret?
I dislike it when parents abandon their children.  I lied to protect a little girl, and it blew up in my face.
What is a general description of your personality that makes you different?
I can be whoever I need to be to get what I want.  I can act with the best of them, but I hate myself for not being me.
Do you ever lie awake at night?
Yes
Why can't you sleep?
Nightmares that are memories
Is there anything you don't want me to know?
Yes
Are there any secrets that you are afraid to reveal?
Yes
What are they?
Really bad, criminal even, and therefor I cannot tell any one, because trust is earned, and I don't know you well enough to trust you.
Why are you afraid to reveal them?
I am not afraid of the punishment, I am afraid of what will happen to the people I truly love.
What is your most hidden secret?
Charrley's Father
What do you do that you are particularly not proud of?
Hide who I am
What do you do that you hate, but feel you can improve on?
Hideing who I am, and lieing about where I want to be.
Who is the last person you want to see right now?
My father
Do you wonder what people are thinking?
Yes, but some people are easier to read than others.
Do you wish to have a different life?
Sometimes
Do you want to fall in love?
Love has hurt me in the past, I don't want to FALL in love, I want to FIND it.
Do you believe you can give yourself completely to another?
Not right now, but maybe in time, and the right person I could.
Why is it hard to trust other people?
Because I have been Hurt, Beaten, Raped, Taken advantage of, and wronged in the past.
What is a time when you trusted someone who failed you?
I trusted my sister to be there for me, but she left.
Is there anyone you love?
I love the little boy who calls me Mommy, I love my siblings, I love  Mikkiey, where ever he may be now.
Is there anyone you trust?
Not fully
What makes you truly happy?
Words
Why do you run from happiness?
Because I am always waiting for the happy to be torn apart by the ugly truths and pain and unhappiness that follows me aroung
What do you think of this survey?
It was actually still kinda fun
Do you think this survey was the least bit exposing?
Sure