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Infect

We all showed up to class one day
I wish we'd had a clue
Of what we'd hear and see and say
And what we'd have to do.

The teacher looked us in the eyes
And spoke a single word
"Parasites" That's no surprise
He always was absurd

He handed each of us a vial
With something gross inside
Said to watch it for a while
And so we all complied

I looked in at the nasty thing
It swam, and jerked and heaved
Twisting quick and trembling
As it writhed and weaved

And then things started getting strange
The teacher groaned, then smiled
Something in him seemed to change
And then his eyes went wild

"Go on now, you may open it"
He grinned from ear to ear
"Just lift the top a little bit
Don't be afraid, get near"

Some listened and then looked real close
At the things inside
Some whined and said, "No way! That's gross!"
And one girl even cried.

I peered, quite nervous, into mine
And as it moved, jumped back
I told myself it was benign
And then the thing turned black

And then I heard a classmate scream
I looked over at him
Eyes flaring with a horrid gleam
And then his eyes grew dim

One person put his ear real close
And said "Hey listen here"
And then the worm, slimy and gross
Crawled up into his ear.

His face showed that strange, dim surprise
And he picked up a worm
And threw it at another's eyes
And watched it writhe and squirm

It crawled right in her open eye
And went straight to her brain
She took it with a strangled cry
Of shock and grief, and pain.

And then the pain and shock were gone
Composure in their place
She took a worm and passed it on
Right in my partner's face

It crawled right up his skinny nose
He screamed and grabbed his head
Then went into a neutral pose
And grabbed a vial isntead

And then I saw it loud and clear
The worms infested quick
Crawled in an open eye or ear
And then made their host sick

They altered the minds of their hosts
Went straight into the brain
Left the victims shells or ghosts
No joy, no grief, no pain

The worms controlled the weakened brain
And lived its only goal
Infect and drive the host insane
By using mind control.

Just two of us were still "alive"
To fight the creatures' reign
Our only goal was to survive
And keep them from our brains

We backed against the clean white wall
Armed with brooms and sticks
And then heard screaming from the hall
Through the painted bricks

The worms ran rampant through the school
Infecting everyone
They used my classmates brains as fuel
So they could have their fun.

Right then, two kids with wild eyes
Locked the only door
Despite our best and hardest tries
We couldn't stand much more

We stared each other in the face
And tried to make a plan
We looked around the open space
And then just turned and ran

We holed up in an empty room
We knew we had to hide
We locked the door against our doom
And huddled safe inside

Our classmates pounded on the door
They seemed to feel no pain
And bruised, fell to the dirty floor
And moaned in loud distain

It seemed as though they all awoke
A fury struck them all
The window to the hallway broke
The door started to fall

They all came in in one big crowd
The doorway open wide
Their shouts and moans grew long and loud
As they all came inside...

Author notes

Anyway, about the poem. With school here, I'm getting all these grand ideas for poems, but wait, there's no time to write! The journey from the little spark of an idea that was in my head one study hall to the poem you have now was a long (by long I mean about a month) and painful journey, but not one I regret...much.

This is a little outside of my comfort zone...a little wierder than normal and stuff. I'm not sure what to make of it. Constructive criticism is welcome with open arms!

Excuse the lame title. I can't title anything...it's a curse.

One more thing...I wasn't sure how to end this. And am still not sure of if it's too abrupt or not. I like endings that leave lots of open possibilities sometimes, but this one seemed wierd. I have a terrible time ending poems like this.

Ugh...just proofread this...man, I used the words "and then" way too much! I'm shocked no one complained! I don't have time to edit it right now, but if you noticed it and it bothered you as much as it did me, know that it'll be fixed shortly.

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • A.Joker
    November 30, 2009

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    LOVED IT!!!

    This is the kind of poem that makes you long for more and drop everything else you're doing. What's even better about it is the way that you painted brilliant pictures in the mind. This is one poem so absurd it could be true lol. Great write!!!
    -@. Joker


  • Alyssa Ballerina
    November 22, 2009

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    good!

    very nice... okay not so nice.. but i love the way a story was told.. and the way the poem was ended was a great end, just by the way it makes you want more..


  • Rayray
    November 22, 2009

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    I liked your poem a lot, it seems like something that could be written in a story book.
    The only thing I had a problem with was the repetition ' wild eyes ' 'pain' and the following verse is a little akward unless you read it very slow

    Some listened and then looked real close
    At the creature they held
    Some whined and said, "No way! That's gross!"
    They couldn't be compelled.

    Thats not to say that I didn't like your poem - I thought it was wonderful, you left pictures for every verse. I was a awesome silly write .. KOOTOS
    Rachel


    • Shrat
      November 22, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      I grappled with that same stanza for such a long time. I may just take it out. Thanks for letting me know!


  • e911
    November 22, 2009
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    lol

    The stanza I copied was my favorite and I just wanted to know who was in the closet as mere curiosity - that was not criticism.


  • e911
    November 22, 2009

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    very well written

    You have a creepy mind sometimes. I don't like the whole thought of mind controlling infestations, but I do like the way you put it on paper. I agree, ... at the end maybe, but I was trying to figure out how you would get out of it and so it was good to leave it hanging. The title is ok... if you consider from the worm's prospective - their goal is to infect. I still hate to think of something crawling into an orifice and going to my brain... my skin will be crawling for days. A little criticism... you say two teachers ran in the room and locked each and every door and then 2 stanzas later that you went into an empty room - it contradicts each other. I think you need to expand on how you got into the empty room after the teachers had locked the doors. jmho

    Who was still "sane" in the closet with you?

    It crawled right in her open eye
    And went straight to her brain
    She took it with a strangled cry
    Of shock and grief, and pain.

    (makes the eyes twitch but well written)


    • Shrat
      November 22, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      I didn't really flesh out the other sane person...they were just there. And the teachers locked all the doors getting outside, not the ones inside...or at least I thought. Maybe I'll work with it.

  • oneheartstring
    November 22, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    ending is fine. maybe a... at the end but fine. Cute Shel Silversteinesque wouldnt you say? Or did you see Wrath of Khan and the Thriller Video back to back? I prefer to think Shel's muse wandered by your study hall desk.

1 - 8 of 8