Jonathan

You are gone now
But I can't help but
Think of you
In that yellow tanktop
And blue shorts
Fire-red hair & blue eyes
Exposed "chicken" legs, freckles and all
I remember wondering if you were cold
It was only the beginning of summer after all

...That day on the bus on the way to work
Messy hair, Messy shirt...
(You had spilt your coffee and the light wind disheveled your hair)
Messy life ... recovering alcoholic
With your AA pamphlet
Laughing & joking
Oh I could never forget your laugh
I could never forget how you made ME laugh...
Singing along to freakin' Beyonce and Rihanna
Sober.

I used to post facebook statuses
on Tuesdays & Thursdays:
"Yay! Work Tomorrow...Jonathan will be there"
Thanks for keeping me sane in that stupid place
You were amazing!

One day, you asked me if I had kids
And you told me I'd make a great mother

He almost took that away from me
The one who never wore shorts
And could never curb his lies
Cause he couldn't handle his truths
Hid them with his tattoos
Which he hid under clothes
Which he hid with his entire being
Under a rock

I don't think you knew him:

He barely laughed
Barely smiled
Took life much too seriously
And almost destroyed mine

You handled your truths so well
And with a vigor for life that most would not have
And for which he did not have an ounce
A vigor which I am now just learning...

He's living dead &
I wish you were still living
Six days left in this stupid town
I don't have even a picture to remember you by
Nothing but your words, your voice and your laugh

I wish I could have said goodbye
I miss you...