the match burns down to a thumb
before the darkness settles in
home becomes pieces of the puzzle,
unearthed from the cushions,
the left side of a face,
the sail of a boat,
catching the morning breeze,
folding like paper
a body remodeling itself,
questions without answers.
you know me like an
oddly shaped rib,
the spire of a nose,
the threads of life leading into
the stretch of skin,
the structure of a house,
yard overgrown,
empty rooms
Author notes
We are all brothers under the skin, and I, for one, would be willing to skin humanity to prove it.
Ayn Rand
A contest entry
- Semi Quickie - 12 Entries. by Naridill.
400 points, ended November 22, 2009, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
...
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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love this


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Thank you.
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That quote in the AN's was ama-ZING. I find myself intrigued by the poem itself. The flow and speed of this poem, I say speed for the way you punctuated to intensely feel what I was reading, as I read it, kind of quicker until the pause of punctuation. Not sure if you intended it that was - but worked well at start and the comma pauses at end, increased the vibe in this piece.
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A few people thought there were too many commas, but I wanted it to feel breathless. I'm glad it worked for someone else!
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Excellent
period


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I glanced at your title and thought, just one more before bed. I'm glad that I did, this poem was beautifully formed with wonderful imagry to.
A wonderful write and I wish you all the best in the contest.
Kate -
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Thank you!
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1 - 7 of 7





