Just trying to survive
This thick web of
Lies
That passes as life.
What are people
Thinking?
Why do they lie about who they really
Are?
Why do we pretend
The way we do-
It can't be for love.
No I can't love you.
You hurt
And smoke
And lie
And deceive.
I'm just trying to
Survive
This thick
Web of
Lies
That we call
Highschool.
How was it?
Comments
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omg how awesome!!
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Wow!
This is an excellent peice of poetry!
You place excellent emphasis on singular words in the first two stanzas (lines1-8):
"Just trying to survive
This thick web of
Lies
That passes as life.
What are people
Thinking?
Why do they lie about who they really
Are?"
The way you wrote the following line is so powerful:
"This thick web of
Lies"
It radiates a feeling of anger and frustration that things are so unjust and unfair.
I like the way the layout is like a train of thoughts, as though written as they flow into your mind, fuelled by the indignity felt.
The way that you use a wide variety of line lengths and single words, adds a power and rich dimension to the feelings expressed in this peice. And, of course, paint a vivid and poignant picture of how hard life in High school (or secondary school as I knew it, when I was at school) is and seemingly always will be. People lie to create false airs about themselves and to climb social ladders, selfish behaviours really; when you consider what lengths they'll go to to knock others out of the way to attain what they want.
Your poem is an excellent peice of writing, powerful, poignant and extremely truthful.
Thank you for sharing it!
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Good job Bai! That's so true. Highschool is a web of lies, we all change into what we swore we would never become. Well anyway, good job!
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