You say you don't love her
but God knows you do
you try to hide it
only that it hurts so much
leaving you feeling guilty
When you tell her good-bye
it's like a big chunk of your heart
was taken away with her
every night you stay up
thinking about her every minute
wondering what she's doing
if she's thinking of you
Only if she could see your face
how much you're suffering
she'd come back
but it's too late
You regret it
never listening to you heart
your soul
staying up late in the evening
going crazy
On the other hand
she's thinking of you to
asking God is she worth it
if you'd ever want her
'cause she wants you
wants every peice
part and inch
both wishing
to have listened to what they felt
listened to their heart
Author notes
I got the idea from the song Listen to your heart by Roxette. Enjoy!
feel free to criticize...
Comments
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You have skill, especially considering your age. My compliments. I would suggest that you try to work on a consistent meter to improve flow and try to restate words and phrases in more unique ways to add interest. Paint the simple story, but let the meaning lie beneath the surface for the reader to comprehend. Here is the start of another way of conveying feelings of wanting too but not doing. Keep writing.
And the leaf falls as I reach
while the wind sweeps it away
a wind, random, uncaring.
Was I that way about you?
As if my heart is the leaf
it's lost, gone, swept away.
Now a regret fills my chest
of what might have really been.
As if the leaf is you, gone
swept away, random winds.
Hesitation caused this pain
as I yell I love you now.
To the wind, that carries you
away from me, precious leaf.
To the wind that drowns my voice,
regret for love not ventured.
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Two people face to face
Both wanting to embrace
Each also wants to hide
Each takes a step to side
Still wanting one another
Take five steps towards each other
Offset right from the start
They're now 10 steps apart
I know - not the best, and there is some math involved... Loved the poem - sad - two ships passing in the night, seeing each other, and sailing on by.
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Yes, lovers who still have those feelings and wonder it they have made the right decision. It takes a brave soul to make the first move.
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