Darkness settles down onto the park
filling the world with light.
Color, movement, and the oh's and ah's of an amazed crowd spread
to encompass me in its warm grasp.
Happiness fills the air like a thick perfume
intoxicating even the most bleak of people.
The smells of roasted nuts, and sweets mix in with the heavy cloud of laughter.
Smiles flash from every single face.
Adventure seemed to be born again,
setting the world on fire with its exciting flame.
Following the lights,
the smiles,
the laughter,
the cheer,
there stands a woman.
An elaborate headdress sits on top of brown curls, framing a beautiful face.
Red and gold makeup accents her eyes,
making the brown orbs pop
unlike anything ever seen.
It all comes rushing back.
No amount of makeup can hide that
this is a show,
meant for simple entertainment.
Nothing more.
Wishes float into the air and I stand, watching as the crowd fades,
the light fades,
the joy fades,
and the beautiful simplicity of it all just fades into the dark,
and somehow, it doesn't effect me like I thought it would
and a smile finally plays on my lips.
A contest entry
- Contest #6 (Carnival) by VelvetWings.
1300 points, ended November 21, 2009, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Wonderful Write
You have painted the scene exceptionally well.
I flowed well and keep my attention.
Very Nice Work.
Howard


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Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
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Hello and thank you for the entry to my contest.
I'm not sure if the title is meant to be like that, because it's ungrammatical. The 'correct' way would be "Some things are meant to fade" but if it's an intentional 'error' then I guess it doesn't really matter.
I like the imagery you have in this piece a lot. The first two lines are seemingly contradicting, but I guess that makes them more powerful. A nice contrast between light and darkness.
In line 7: "The smells of roasted nuts, and sweets"
The comma is unnecessary there; it puts the flow off.
It's a nice write; deep and beautiful, yet somehow I felt it was lacking in any emotional impact.
Best of luck to you in my contest.
~Sparrow -
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Thanks! I was debating the space in the title. Not my best poem, I don't think, but thanks for commenting anyway! Good luck.
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Nice!
Very nice.No amount of makeup can hide that
this is a show,
meant for simple entertainment.
Nothing more.
I like that one
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thank you! I love those little clappy dudes. ^^
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