You're gone
Out of my mind
You are just a ghost now
You can go if you wish
Or you can stay
It makes not difference to me
Because you are a ghost
And you are out of mind
A contest entry
- Are You Musically Inspired? by BloodyCrystalEmbers.
800 points, ended December 10, 2009, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
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short, but to the point.
I think we all have ghosts. They flitter in and out of our minds, whether we want them there or not.
Nice write for pondering.
best wishes in the contest -
I love it!!! Some times the best thing you can do is let go of those people and the memories that accompany them. I hope you are doing good.
Guin
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Hmm.. this is a good start.. I would keep working at it.. see what could rhyme.. think about imagery could fit in the context.. Play with the words more.. there is a spot that you could edit.. such as 'it makes not difference' maybe 'no difference'? I like the theme.. but I think it could be expanded on.. then it can become a gem....
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Nice piece, short but sweet...I find it interesting with the line that "it makes not difference to me" as if you could care if something was there or not...I think we all have ghosts in our minds, and we think that they are gone but one day they will appear again to haunt...I think we all walk with a ghost, and we may think they aren't there...but they are...just because we cannot see something does not make it so...Sorry for throwing my little bit in there lol...Back to your piece, I liked what you penned here, although I feel as if there should be more to it, it is not my right to tear it apart....I like the fact it is short and leaves the reader wanting more...that is the gift of a true poet...beautiful effort!!! Thanks for entering it and best of luck in the contest!
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