You know what I realized, that no one is really going to be there for you in the end. You can have all the friends you want, all the loving parents, but in the end it’s only you and the wall. People say a lot of things to pretend they care about you and they deceive you, for what I do not know. But what I do know is when you find the truth, it hurts a lot. I wish I had someone with me who was pure and would be truthful with me. Someone who when they told me they loved me, I guess you could actually tell that they mean it. Life is pretty deceiving in itself, ever since you were born, you’re told to be a nice and kind person. Your taught of morals and taught of what is right and what is wrong. As you start to grow up though, you begin to question those morals, not because of the decision that you made but because of the decisions of the people around you. It’s odd because you try to be the nice guy, always helping out when you can, not when you should. Of course you make immature mistakes down the road and make some people feel bad and do stupid things because of the lack of knowledge and kinship you’ve attained. But the important thing should be that you do the act of kindness from your heart, but the people who do these good deeds because they know it will make them look better are the one’s that are succeeding. Why? I really can’t explain this but you begin to start questioning your acts and your way of thinking. You don’t change yourself but just begin to question yourself. You begin to question why you have so much suffering when the man next to you is winning. Bibles and scriptures have always told you that in reality you are the winner, because inside you know the truth and god knows the truth. Maybe you will live in paradise after this test that someone has put us through, but how can you ever know? Are you really supposed to live 80 years of suffering just based on faith and faith alone? If you were a willed person, you would answer yes and I guess these are the people who have gone to nirvana and have attained this peaceful state of mind, but what about everyone else? What happens to their test, and what happens to the quitters who can’t take the misery anymore? Life itself is deceiving but the important thing is to never give up is something people have taught you since birth, but they never taught you about people giving up on yourself. How can you live when everyone around you has given up on yourself? There is no answer to this question that has startled so many minds in the past, but to learn to live on faith. Life is deceiving as are people and as is religion, but as Martin Luther once said, that your character is based on faith, and faith alone. Next time you are stuck in between a wall of strained thought, remember that it is only you and your faith. No one is there to save you for yourself but only to look innocent in front of his or her peers, have faith and see how far it will get you. Faith is something that seems like just hope that humans hold on to when feeling fear, but is hope something that is in the imaginary or something that is real. Isn’t it possible for hope to be the truths in life, because you strive for that hope to come true and eventually it does, so never stray in hope as a useless tool but as a means to achieve your dream. Whether your dreams of success are those of your counter agents or the dream is simple as being happy. Look into your life and find one thing that really matters to you, when you find him or her, hold onto that person because no one will come your way who will be the same again. Love is the only true test of betrayal, hope, courage, and faith. One may even sense to argue that it is Love that makes the character whom we are today.
Author notes
This isn't a Poem, more of a speech. This is just what came out, these thoughts and feelings, and i've expressed them in this way for the first time, and just thought it was kind of nice. As long as it gets people to think, it makes me happy.
Written April 15th, 2004
