Dimly Beheld

I'm a hypocrite.

Each teardrop is melting trust, soon to fade away,
like vapor under a desert sun.  Each sob rips a rift between us
that will hurt when it heals and will only scab and scar.

I'm sorry
that I spilt Your blood.  I'm sorry
that I was the scourge that wrapped its fangs around Your bare spine.

Hypocrisy - we choose not to see our sins, and purely by whim we rot within.
We deserve much more, but you erase the score.
We deserve much less, but you gave us your best.
Prodigal, illogical, fallible in our rationalizations.

I'm a self-blinded fool.
I made a promise I never meant to make, wilfully broken when trust was at stake.
I thought I'd do better and break these fetters, but I'm as solid as fickle wind.

Whenever I try I just die again.
I struggle and fight but I'll never win.
All it takes to lose is a little sin.
We're worthless maggots, each one of us.
Our hopeless habits become one with us.

What am I?  Who are you?
What is love?  What is truth?
I'll only ever bluster and guess.
I'll muster what's left of me
and keep wandering.