Mommy thinks
I’m getting too thin
and my dinner plate
sits there -still full
but I know…
daddy will come,
hungry tonight
maybe he will see?
there is nothing left,
he can ravage of me
so, it’s not so bad,
that I have- ED
Author notes
Through an abused child's mind
full plate-
EDO- eating disorder
my profound poetry
In a list
A contest entry
- A Contest of Uniqueness...Abuse *every 5 entries points up 200.. by PassionsPromise.
2200 points, ended December 27, 2009, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
your suggestions are always welcomed
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Speechless...
I read it twice and the impact twice as hard
I can say nothing more
you nailed it
Passionspromise
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wow...that was...sad...how do you do this?!?! your writing..i love it..the way you manage to capture such a raw theme..such a sad and depressing story..but you wrote it in a way that left impact..voice..originality..i love the way you write
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Very sad! The atrocity of child abuse is evident but many of us cannot see it as we refuse to believe it. In my experience it was denial of the mother that allowed a cousin to continue abusing me. I don't blame my Mom; I simply wish she had listened. Eating disorders are a sure sign that something is wrong. This is poignant and tugs at the heart. I wish you well in the contest.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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no like what u usally pen none the less its still good
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you do understand an abused child's mind, Mal. Reading this poem made me think of a little 6 year old boy I worked with...he too couldn't eat because of severe abuse (the worst case I've ever seen)...terrible the things adults do to children. Of course this one touched me...great writing - love the title too.
~ Nicolette
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This is cool, like how although it's pretty short you manage to get in all the ideas and thoughts of the child. The enjambment is used really effectively here as well, almost like it reflects the kids waiting for its father to realise there's something wrong with it. Plus the use of the rhetoric brings out the longing of the child for someone to notice the pain it's in. The anonymity of the persona is a plus too, allows audience to relate to the character. The title's pretty clever too, ironic but it sorta brings out the sadness behind the persona's voice. It's a unique write:
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