I'll paint you a galaxy
of darkness and pain.
A picture to inspire
a waterfall of tears.
And as you run
through this acid rain,
each broken moment
will imerge from past years.
They will shed their covers
and their many masks.
They will show their faces
as the lie unfolds.
With water coloured memoirs
as staining droplet departs.
With reality undressed,
the truth unfolds.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I lke this poem. It speaks of saddness and truly depicts the message you are sharing. Great job! Keep up the good work!
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Wow! This is great.
Thank you for your critque.
With reality undressed,
the truth unfolds
Priceless
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once again... this makes me feel as though i've been lieing to you and that you have slowly been uncovering the truth.
I don't lie to you. but this is how it makes me feel.
the first stanza kinda gives me a godlike vibe or maybe a devil... the second gives me an image of a person (sex undisclosed) running through the back allies of a polluted city slowly having there clothes melted off... the third is almost like this person has fallen over and from the walls come masked shades of people that have some significance to the person and how each one has hurt them... and then the forth is like, waking up from a dream and realizing the truth due to the bizarre nightmare
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Very good! It's very epic and all the emotions are captured..well done :)
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remind me to give you an extra big cuddle on thursday cause you scare me sometimes with these writes
[not that I don't flocking love them
]
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Breath taking
At the end I found myself, wanting the poem to carry on, it was that good... I loved the imaginay you set in this...
Keep on penning
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