Tears fell easily
from her eyes
As she sat on the cliff
Watching the sunrise
Her brown hair
lightly lifted
As the cool breeze
Gently drifted
She swayed slightly
Then layed in the grass
Waiting leisurely
for the tears to pass
They soon disappeared
when the sun was high
She heard the ocean
and a distant gull's cry
Suddenly strong arms
wrapped around her
She leaned into him
Welcoming the comfort
He kissed her forhead
And looked into her eyes
There he saw a sparkle
Laced with green vines
She always seemed happier
When he was by her side
if he left, he came back
to find that she'd cried.
Abstract beauty
of this perfect maiden
Wouldn't be something
He'd easily trade in.
But her deep sadness
would touch his heart
And he left in fear
That she'll fall apart
He fought hard everyday
She saw it a lot
She knows she causes
the pain he's got.
That's one reason
why she cries
but she can't hide the tears
However hard she tries
She hopes he
won't figure it out
but sooner or later
She'll be found
She welcomes
the comfort he gives
Till the time comes
to reveal her fibs.
What do you think?
Comments
-
I don't think disappeared is spelled right for one and for two i dont think the capitalization is needed. Welcoming really seems odd capital as well. It would flow and look better if the capitalization was constantly the same. last stanza only needs one she. But all in all this was a very beautiful write. I enjoyed reading it and it flowed very well other the few things i mentioned keep on penning
-
Nicely done, a sad poem with romance and love. A rollercoaster of emotions lines this poem, the poetic flow is great, nice job.
-
Very good poem. A little saddening, but very...revealing. Great job, and I hope you feel better. We can try to work through this.
Lots of Love and kisses,
Bret <3
Adding your comment:
