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I swim in a sea of the Unconscious

i swim in the sea of unconscious
i hold my breath and dive
splash into a new world
where nothing is alive

the water feels like nothing
as if im flying in the air
i can hear nothing and noone
its like im not anywhere

my heart is as hot as inside an oven
and my eyes have been closed for good
i feel as if im falling down a hole
or running in a dark wood

my toes and fingers have no feeling
and my thoughts are upside down
my head hurts and it really aches
its like i've morphed into an earth-quake

still swimmming i see a bright light
i swim to it with a little bit of sight
the light is getting larger
its growing more bright

i try and swim away
i don't want to die
not now and not today
but im too weak. Goodbye!

A contest entry

Any Thoughts?

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Comments


  • BrytBrat
    December 26, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    that was beautiful!!
    the very best

  • Pogo7747
    November 15, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing. Well done


  • mangopeelings
    November 13, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    i liked this, good take on the promt.


    -xox.


  • starjacket silver member
    November 13, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I really like your imagery and rhyme scheme here! Thanks so much for entering. Best wishes to you in the contest! Thanks for entering!