We wore the night on our clothes
and didn't care when people stared at us.
Because we were wide eyed and full of purpose
trying to find all the things we'd lost sometime
in that transformation from clueless kids
to adults who still didn't have a fucking clue.
If I had known back then,
how special you are.
If I had known back then,
I would have held you a little tighter
knowing that I never would be able to again.
Looking at you is like seeing my own life regress.
Like I'll never fucking grow up and be the girl
you thought I would be and the girl you fell in love with.
(The one filled with possibility now sours with bitterness.)
My eyes brim at the thought of you leaving me in your dust.
Of you leaving me,
but you already have.
And I have to pick my jaw up off the ground
seeing who you've become.
You've moved on to this beautiful place
where you don't need me.
(But I pray to God you still want me)
You have things in your grasp
molding to your able fingers,
while I'm fumbling, still not able to
knead things into the bigger picture.
I'm taking baby steps and I'm still tripping all the way.
I need you more than ever.
But you're moving to the light
that is blinding all your senses.
Leaving me in your dark shadow,
crying in my desperation for you to just look at me
and tell me everything I want to hear.
But things are different now.
You've moved on, grown.
And here I am, stunted,
disabled, broken.
I reach out to you
but my arms just fall to my sides because
you've already turned away.
And I'm left in this dark, bitter abyss
I call my life.
Without you.
Author notes
This hurts.
Down into my soul, my heart,
this hurts me.
And there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
J a n e t h e p l a i n
A contest entry
- You're invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal. by whiterabbit..
575 points, ended December 4, 2009, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Favorite Part
Comments
-
The emotions in this are so so strong. This is really beautifully written, though still so sad. I was really drawn in when I was reading this and my attention didn't wander at all.
I really love this and I love how you wrote it.
Thanks so much for entering. -
trying to find all the things we'd lost sometime
in that transformation from clueless kids
to adults who still didn't have a fucking clue.
- you are like amazing. i loved this part.
You have things in your grasp
molding to your able fingers,
while I'm fumbling, still not able to
knead things into the bigger picture.
I'm taking baby steps and I'm still tripping all the way.
- this parts really sad, but so true. i think this is one of your most heartfelt writes ive ever read. well done, this blew me away.
Adding your comment:
