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Power of the Needle II

Regurgitated lies, spoon-fed
as if a craving baby bird.
Swallowed like poison
running through my veins
in search of vulnerabilities.

Promises of love and acceptance
mixed with a battery of monstrosities
at the hands of beasts.
Pushing, pulling my insides
knotted and bruised – forever changed.
I hated them. I loved them.
Confusion scratched at my brain.
My head belonged to them.

Driven to drink and drug –
to pacify my fading conscience;
dull the ache in my body.

A friend I have found in an altered state.
A state of I don’t care anymore.
Do to me as you wish,
becoming almost dream-like,
almost pleasurable.

I had my power back.
You force your way inside of me,
feeling like the needle pushing into my vein
– deeper and deeper –
releasing its magic.
I can deal with this.
And I pass out all the same when you’re through.
My distorted state.

Years have passed
My altered state,
My one and only friend;
no greater feeling than the needle;
the ensuing burn.
Cloaking me from reality,
saving me from myself,
what would be truth.

Something I dare not face.
A killer.
A lover of  darkness.
A lover of pain.
Drink down my conscience,
residing in my own hell.
I am in hell.
I will die in hell.

Author notes

"The sound of silence"

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • BehindTheScenes
    6 hours ago
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    This is good, I like it. The emotion behind it is absolutely amazing. I can relate. Thank you for taking the time to enter, and I wish you the best of luck. (;


  • Wandering Woodchuck gold member
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very deep dark poem. I can relate to it as I was once a raving drunk. It is behind me now. I see that you have taken a sabbatical from AP nearly as long as my own. I hope to see you writing again. You have my best wishes for your growing family in the coming year.

    Mike


  • Bean Sidhe silver member
    December 8, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Reading this made my stomach hurt. It is extremely convincing although I sincerely hope that you do not write from personal experience. I have been clean and sober for fourteen months and while there are times of severe stress that I miss my addition like a lover, I am proud of my sobriety. The part of this poem that speaks to me the loudest has to be:

    "Years have passed
    My altered state,
    My one and only friend;
    no greater feeling than the needle;
    the ensuing burn.
    Cloaking me from reality,
    saving me from myself,
    what would be truth."

    Explicit. Dark. Emotional. Painful. Perfect. Thank you for your entry & best of luck in the contest.

    - Bean Sidhe


  • BellaAmare
    November 28, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    This is very deep. Thank you for your entry.


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    November 19, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I will be honest and say that I never understood the lure or the fascination with drugs; I personally think it is a colossal waste of a human being's life
    This is a very powerful piece; goes to the nth degree in imagery
    Well done!
    Thank you for sharing and being part of the contest
    Good luck to you!


  • lovlilmystery
    November 16, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Can't say as I have read to many of these, kind of poems. They fascinate me and give me a vision, into the personal hell, that drug users deal with each day. I loved the way you wrote it and the flow. Thanks for sharing this poem. Thank you for entering the contest. Take care and have a great day.

    Sandi

  • lovesunshine
    November 13, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    this was super amazing you did a good job on it

1 - 7 of 7