I sit in our familiar spot, only I am not with you. I
Think about all the time we spent together,
Sometimes I wonder why it changed, was your jealousy really that strong?
No idea we would grow apart they way we did, I thought our love would last.
One day Nick came comes along, turns our world upside down, and
Tells of dark, black secrets, that crawl under his skin like a spider.
Them - you never did like spiders much...
How could I not have seen the hurt and pain in your eyes.
Emotional tears stream down my face as I remember how we were.
Scaring your personality, by leaving you out, You reach for the vodka, drowning your tears
Affect is a product of change... It's something we can't take back. Going
Mental for letting myself lose you. I was a fool, a God Damn Fool.
Emotions Running high, I will never let you go.
(I'm Sorry)
Author notes
This is A triple threat - Acrostic, word acrostic and poem.
I used the words - Jealousy, Spider, Nick, Vodka and Black
A contest entry
- Play Fair. by Walking Oxymoron.
2800 points, ended November 12, 2009, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Can you see it?
Comments
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wow
an intense fall out story after the core secrets fell out like skeletons from the cupboard....one is never same after one gets hold of treachery and deception..loved this line.....Affect is a product of change... It's something we can't take back. -
yes I do agree with T, a strong poem and jealousy is a bitch... I have caught myself out many times... I hope that you and this Nick is able to be together without losing anyone else in the process... however; a great triple acrostic on the whole, well done.. I noticed a (maybe) mistakes in this write and I am surprised that someone didn't point them out as she usually does
* No idea we would grow apart they way we did,
Great way of weaving in the spider! I love how you did this
Great write overall, goodluck in the contest xx
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Wow... you wrote a triple!
These are damned hard to write. And also my favourite style to write.
I loved the way you introduced the animal...Spiders... that was subtle, didn't even really notice that it was a mandatory element. It flowed so well.
So... something is not the same, meaning it changed. Another way of smashing home the fact that the poem's topic needed to be about change.
It's sad that things are not the same...here I refer to
I sit in our familiar spot, only I am not with you.
Like you were alone to write the poem, and it made you think of the way things could have been different.
Sometimes I wonder why it changed, was your jealousy really that strong?
Jealousy. I am well aware of what that does to people. And if this is a true write, I only hope it gets better for you soon, it's been known to rip people apart.
Here's what I get... Nick shares dark secrets with you, and someone else doesn't like it. Is this right??
When someone turns to alcohol to drown sorrows (clichéd as that may be) it's worse because then there's no real way of telling how they feel. As long as they don't hurt you when they do... As long as they get help for it...
Cool... you used the word fool! I like that word. I use it often...!
I hope that who ever he is... you don't let him go. I don't know if you care... but I once had a friend who stopped me (with whatever methods) from going out with a guy I liked. I resented her ever since, and I hate seeing him, he looks so happy now, without me... he could have been happy with me. And I with him.
If you care for this guy. And it appears that you do, don't let him go. You'll never forgive yourself, or the one that's holding the jealousy.
I hope the situation gets resolved soon...hope that the tears weren't wasted.
Wow...
On the whole this was a strong poem. And a great read.
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Powerful.
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