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Cobblestone Rose

Today I found a garden rose
in the most improbable of places--
on a lonely cobblestone walk
grown between the spaces.

Summer heat, July Sun
had singed some of its leaves.
but still a splendid garden rose,
for which my heart has grieved.

Tomorrow I shall walk the path
to praise the rose I found,
but never will I choose to plant
the rose in fertile ground.

How sad my love depends upon
the beauty of a rose--
that trapped between a sidewalk seam
is the only life it knows.

Author notes

A single rose can be my garden...a single friend, my world.
~Leo Buscaglia

To my rose, my friend.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Lady Altheia
    February 1
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    Edit | Reply

    Hoodwinked 154

    I really like this poem. I love the quote you picked. I single red rose can make all the difference. You been hoodwinked by someone who cares about you.


  • grannyeri gold member
    January 29
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    You have been HOOD-WINKED by The Poetic Bandits. This is your special day in the spotlight - enjoy. Sentiments well expressed in these lines; easy to read and understand the feelings, emotions you bring forth here. Roses are beautiful, no matter the color or location. Take care of it and will will bring you beauty and much happiness.


  • -LilacThOughts- gold member
    January 29
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    Edit | Reply

    Hood-Wink!

    Hello sir Ima Cucumber,

    ...Poor single rose struggling to survive...it has caught your attention though...it needs nurturing and above all a second chance to spread it's roots...a passing pair of feet could trample it so easily, and that would be tragic, after it's fight to stand tall against hardship, so that you can enjoy it's fragrant beauty...I like the title very much, which drew me in to read

    After reading aloud two or three times, I feel that In the first stanza, 2nd line, I would be tempted to exchange "improbable" with something like "incredible", which does mean improbable but has a more effective grab to it, especially if you take out "on" at the beginning of line 3....

    Line 4, another suggestion would be to replace "grown" with "flourishing"

    Today I found a garden rose
    in the most incredible place.
    A lonely cobblestoned walk,
    flourishing within a space.

    I think the 3rd line would actually be much better as the fourth line, but that would upset your rhyme scheme...please remember these are only my opinions for you to use or lose

    I feel there would be more small changes to make throughout the poem, if you ever decide to revise it  ...Overall I found this piece to be an enjoyable to read... you have been Hood-Winked by a Poetic Bandit...All the best...~Lilac~

     


  • debilynn
    January 28
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    hood~winked!!!

    excellent poem. well written, filled with strong emotions. great imagery, good rhythm and rhyme. thank you for sharing your amazing talent. keep writing! God bless you always

  • judmc
    January 28
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    Edit | Reply

    HOODWINKED ! !

    It is amazing how little soil and space some tenacious hardy plants can survive in. A sad poem in which love is juxtaposed with the precarious existance of a fading rose. A nicely worded poem well worthy of the Bronze Trophy


  • Ms. Marvel2000
    November 13, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Ima, you are collecting again!
    good for you. a bronzed rose.
    Now water it daily!


    • Sir Ima Cucumber
      November 19, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      Yes, collecting brown and green, lol Host suck, they should always give me gold!


  • Diminished Capacity gold member
    November 12, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful piece, you did very well with the prompt. I love the rhyme, it flowed quite nicely. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • hugh wyles silver member
    November 12, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Dear Sir Ima,

    The summer heat and July sun
    while tender leaves is burning
    reminds of the beloved one
    for whom the heart is yearning.

    If love should choose a cobbled path
    in which to flower and flourish
    'twill wither in the aftermath -
    no fertile ground to nourish.

    Love, like a rose, needs fertile soil
    to burgeon and display
    for heat and arid ground will spoil
    and wither it away.

    Applause for your fine poem and apt metaphor, sad though it is. Well done!


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    November 11, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    The path to take and its journey of which you have painted
    within this rose garden..
    Best wishes and good luck in the contest

    Julie


  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    November 11, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, Ima, you quote the Love Doctor,
    non-credit class, Love1A!He undoubtedly
    would disagree with you, and trasplant
    the lonely rose---

    but agree that love can be found
    "in the most improbable places."



  • Mari Goes
    November 11, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Drummond has a poem about a flower on asphalt...your poem reminded his, even though is about different things.
    Just take your rose and replant it in your garden where it can grow beautifully
    Lovely poem, I'm sure it'll make your flower smile

1 - 12 of 12