this is how i fade:
i close my eyes,
thinking of how the smile
i long to see is gone;
i raise my face to the silent sun,
the slant of sunlight
glowing through my eyelids;
my lungs fill with the air,
my fingers clench into fists,
and i open my mouth
expecting the rage i feel to slip out in a scream
but all that comes out is a sob.
i sink to the ground,
now cold and broken
with the dirt sticking to my palms
and it seems i still fade more.
i become what everyone else expects to see.
i become this fake faded me.
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